It might seem ironic to find advice about worry in a YouTube video about attraction. But bear with me, because there’s something my daughter and I discovered about worry while filming a video last year.
“What Women Find Attractive in Men” is our most popular video. But my daughter Abby and I didn’t just talk about physical attributes that men have. At one point, Abby brings up how she’s also attracted to a guy who is “confidently calm, like they can be confident in a disaster.”
And that’s where the light bulb went on in my head. At the core of the problem of worry is the throbbing issue of one of our deepest needs as human beings. Men want this just as much as women do. We want strength in a crisis, confidence in a disaster. We all want peace in the midst of a storm.
Our Desire For Control
We all have a need for strength and peace. But the opposite of feeling strengthened and peaceful is the feeling of being stressed and worried. Worry relates to fear and crisis. We worry because we are afraid about some unmet need we have, some storm we are going through.
That’s why we worry. We have an intense desire to control things as much as we can, so that we can feel a shred of this sense of well-being that we desperately need. Women may seem to struggle with control issues more than men, but both sexes have the same need for peace.
God knows this about us and offers us a better way. He offers us Himself, the way out of worry.
The Why Of Worry
In his book, “Soulprint,” Mark Batterson writes, “Sin comes in many varieties, but one of the primary strands is what I call legitimate illegitimate sin. We attempt to meet a legitimate need, but we do it in an illegitimate way.”
That is what we do with worry. Worrying is our way of trying to meet our legitimate need to feel like everything is under control and will work out ok. It’s our way of trying to meet our need for reassurance and safety – but worry doesn’t accomplish this!
Jesus tells us in Luke 12 not to worry about everyday life and its challenges of provision. He asks rhetorically “Why do you worry?” but He knows why. He’s trying to get us to ask ourselves the big “why” so that we might come to the right conclusion.
One of the points Jesus makes about worry before He refers to the answer is that when you worry, you are doing exhausting work.
He continues, “And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies of the field grow: they do not labor or spin … ” They’re not working their tails off and straining to grow and survive. But you are laboring when you’re worrying – and you’re not even getting paid!
So, what’s the way out of worry?
Turn To Your Father
The answer is not in what more do we need to do. The answer is in who you know will help you in your crisis. Who do you know that is “confidently calm” all the time? Who do you know that has such incredible resources that you, instead of worrying, will wind up becoming “confident in a disaster”?
Jesus tells us the answer in an indirect way. He tells us not only to not worry, but that the things we worry about “dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs.” (Luke 12)
That’s who you know: your Heavenly Father. That’s your resource. He is confidently calm during every crisis, and He wants you, as His child, to be the same way.
When any of us are walking in peace, instead of worrying and stressing out all over, we become people who bring an answer to a problem, and who bring peace into a chaotic scene. We become strong people who are not dominated by worry because we have turned to the Father. He is closer than you think.
Jesus slept peacefully in a boat in the middle of a storm, and you can, too. It’s a matter of perspective: if God is your Father, then you are His beloved child. He will get you through the storm. He is in the boat with you. Just turn your eyes to Him and see – He is there.
You may also be interested in Is Your Faith Strong Enough To Withstand The Storms Of Life?