It’s easy to be anxious when the desires of our heart are so strong, and feel so immediate. It’s easy to get worried when Mr. or Mrs. Right hasn’t shown up in a time frame we can live with, and especially when we live in a culture which places the highest priority on the immediate satisfaction of all our wants. We get worried and can even feel like we’re only giving the process the attention it deserves when we want results now.
The Book of Genesis reminds us that when we find the person we love, we will leave our father and mother and cleave to that person, becoming one flesh (Gen. 2:24, KJV). Such a soul mate is worth the wait, but there can also be a biological clock ticking away and adding even greater angst to the “desire of our heart.” However, it is really important to keep in mind that we don’t control the timing of the Father.
There could be any number of reasons why we have to wait for the right person to come into our lives, even if the wait is far beyond any time frame we would have chosen for ourselves to find the Mr. or Ms. Right. Is it possible the person we believe to be the perfect mate is secretly at odds with living a life in a covenant relationship? Is it possible that our match is not ready for a relationship with us at this time? The reasons are endless.
What if our soul mate has a past relationship that wounded him so deeply that he needs time to heal? Is it his fault he’s not ready? Of course not, it only means he isn’t ready to be recommitted to another person until the time he is able to give himself fully and completely to a new relationship.
Is it possible that the desire of our heart is out there somewhere, but we aren’t looking in the right place? That might be possible if we’re looking for a life partner who loves the Lord with all her heart, all her soul and with all her mind––but we’re doing the search on a Mediterranean cruise ship. All these examples take a possible scenario to an extreme limit, but the potential reasons we haven’t achieved the desires of our heart are truly endless.
One trap quite a few of the younger generations of Christians seem to fall into is to go to “the dark side.” Those who haven’t found a husband or wife and are nearing the ripe old age of 20, 25 or even 30 find it easiest to blame themselves. The typical mantra goes something like: “I don’t have a good enough job,” “I’m not thin enough,” “I’m too thin,” “I don’t have the right car” … the self-doubt is endless.
Let’s put that to rest here and now. The right person doesn’t care what car you drive, she cares about where you drive the car you have––is to a local bar, or is it to a home Bible study? The right person doesn’t care if you’re too thin or not thin enough, he sees you with the mindset of Christ. Your soul mate sees the person, not the shell.
King David was a man after God’s own heart, yet David coveted a woman who was married! David failed and yet he still wanted to, and did, match his own desires with those of The Father.
The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord;
and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!
Thou hast given him his heart’s desire,
and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.
For thou preventest him with the blessings of goodness:
thou settest a crown of pure gold on his head.
He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him,
even length of days for ever and ever. —Psalms 21:1-4, KJV