When I was 20, I spent months praying one request repetitively,
“God, if we are not meant to be, I pray you make him not ask me on any more dates. If he isn’t supposed to be my husband, I don’t want to move forward. Make it clear, please?”
As a girl who was devastated by heartbreak several times in high school and college, I was through with what felt like having my life ripped apart. So when a great guy came into the picture, I couldn’t stop praying that God would stop things before they started if it “wasn’t His will.” I knew how badly it hurt to be loved and then not, and so I made a deal with God.
This guy, let’s just call him Sam, was everything I believed God wanted for me in a husband. We became fast friends and I knew he was interested in more. He asked me on a date and I panicked. I feared the heartbreak. I feared what was coming. So I prayed and asked God to keep things from starting if we wouldn’t end up together. And I didn’t just pray for a week, I spent months begging God to protect my fragile heart.
I felt an enormous peace. Everything fell into place, we started dating, and I thought God remembered our deal. I thought He answered my prayer.
Imagine my devastation when this relationship ended with yelling and tears nine months later. Sam and I didn’t end up together.
I remember pacing around campus asking God, “Why don’t you listen? Do you not remember how fervently I asked you to stop this relationship if it wasn’t meant to me??? Is this seriously how you treat well-intentioned daughters?”
Have you felt like God wasn’t listening? Have you ever wondered if God hears you at all?
Maybe all your friends are engaged or married and you can’t even bare to be around them anymore. Perhaps you have been trying to start a family for years and you are convinced everyone will have a baby before you. Or maybe you took a leap of faith, felt called in a certain direction or to a certain career, and everything blew up once you arrived.
What the heck, God? I prayed so much and only wanted your will—why didn’t you listen?
Thanks to everyone who came to Impact and heard Michael speak. His talk, “Why Don’t You Listen?”, is available here: http://www.westendcc.org/resources/multimedia/details?id=218564
Have you ever had a similar experience? Do you think God is listening?
– See more here.