I recently received an email from a reader that broke my heart. She’s been betrayed multiple times in her marriage and asked me what she can do to make her husband love her the way he once did.
Now, I’ve written many articles on how wives can love their husbands unconditionally, as God loves us. But I’m always at a loss of what to say when women have been cheated on by their husbands and they are the ones desperately trying to fix the marriage. God have mercy on the man who isn’t tearfully trying to hold his marriage together after foolishly doing something to blow it apart.
For every woman who has been betrayed by what she thought was love, please hear these words from the One who sets the example of what love truly is:
- Though you may feel as if you have been forgotten or tossed aside, God says, in His Word, “I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands …” (Isaiah 49:15-16)
- Though your husband’s “love” for you appeared to be temporary or accompanied by certain conditions, God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
- Though others who claimed to have loved you have walked out on you in anger, disdain or disinterest, your Savior says, “I will never leave you, nor will I ever forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
- You might think that love eventually grows cold or fades away, but God’s Word tells us: “No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:39, NLT)
While God commands that we love one another, He does not condone our passivity as others continue to hurt us. If you, my friend, are trusting in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord of your life, Scripture says you are adopted into His family, heir of all that is His, and sealed in Him forever (Ephesians 1). That means you are precious property of the Most High God.
If you have been deeply hurt or betrayed by the one who committed himself to loving you exclusively ‘til death do you part, you are commanded to forgive him, but not to excuse him; to love him unconditionally, but not necessarily give him another chance to shatter your heart. To love and forgive those who have wronged us (our husbands, included) does not mean we must restore a relationship where true repentance hasn’t been shown or trust earned.
How do you make a man love you the way he once did? By holding your standards to where they once were. If you are the bride of Christ that makes you one who should be treated as a queen. Remember that, and hold your head – and your expectations – high.
Many women would rather be with a man who treats them badly than to not have a man at all. Dear friend, if that is you, my prayer is that you will adopt the motto: “I’d rather be with Jesus alone than with someone who treats me any less than He would.”
I am praying for your strength and trust in God alone, your Lover who will never leave.