Just as we know that you CAN teach old dogs new tricks, you can actually teach those who are set in their ways how to be romantic. But just as teaching puppies tricks is a lot easier than teaching the puppies’ parents, trying to talk an older person into suddenly becoming Casanova is a lot harder. But it can be done.
Years ago when my grandparents were still alive, they used to walk to church every Sunday morning. Even though they would leave the house at the same time, Grandpa managed to leave Grandma in the dust with her trailing him about a block behind! When she finally told him that she thought it would be nice if they would hold hands and walk together, things changed. They began to walk together every Sunday – with Grandpa practically dragging Grandma behind him. But at least there was some progress!
Talk to One Another
The best way to see any change in a relationship is to actually communicate. If your spouse is not showing you the affection you crave, tell him or her so. You probably remember the old joke where a wife asks her husband why he never tells her that he loves her and he replies, “I told you that I loved you when we got married. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.” Some people — women as well as men — seem to live by that philosophy, and no matter how much we know that our spouse loves us, we still need to hear it from time to time. If you are married to one of these people, let them know how you feel and how much better you’d feel when you heard it. However, don’t harp on this one or you’ll never hear those three little words again. Nobody likes a nag.
Pray for Your Loved One
Spend time praying for your spouse. Not that God will change him or her, but that he will bless your spouse and change you. If your significant other won’t give you the time of day, chances are there is some bitterness building up on your part and that isn’t going to help anything. Ask Him for guidance on how you can show your mate the attention that you’d like him or her to show you. Ask for a miracle if you need to. God is bigger than your marriage. While you are at it, forgive your spouse for being neglectful.
When it’s Hard for You to Communicate…
Let’s say that you are the one who has a hard time sharing your feelings. Here’s an idea that is guaranteed to warm the heart of your loved one. Take a stack of 3 x 5 cards and write a short sentence on each card about something you appreciate about your loved one. It can be how they look, their sense of humor, the color of the hair… anything. Keep going until you have a full stack of flash cards. Then, tie them up with a ribbon and hand them over. Simple, right? And you can do this at any time. In fact, the more random time you decide to this, the more romantic it will be.
If you’re not much of a touchy-feely person, chances are your spouse is. That’s just the way life goes sometimes. Challenge yourself to pursue your spouse by holding his hand in church or a movie theater. When at home, initiate hugs. Some people fear showing any affection to their spouse will lead to their spouse making a big deal out of it. If that should happen, gently tell your mate that you want to show affection, but that it is difficult for you and they can help the process by not saying anything when you make a move.
Finally, find ways to show your husband/wife that you listen to them. The next time you are at the store, bring home their favorite candy bar “just because” or surprise them by renting “that movie” that they’ve been wanting to see. Talk less about your day and ask more questions about theirs. When you ask questions, it shows that you are interested in them. Do this for a bit and chances are that they will return the favor.