As we finish celebrating the marriage of our youngest daughter, my wife and I have been reflecting on some history. When she was born we began to pray for her husband.
Not that we were so very clever, she was after all the youngest, and it took us some time to catch on that praying for a future spouse would be a good idea. With her, we began the process early.
As you might suspect, during those early years our prayers were fairly general. We knew we wanted her to have a godly man that would lead her and a family in righteous ways. We knew that he should be a Christian and demonstrate that relationship in his life. We knew we wanted her to be useful in a relationship. We also prayed for his parents as they raised him, that they would be guided by God.
Time passed. Our daughters grew and they became unique individuals. Each one needed a unique man in their lives to compliment the abilities and temperament that God had given them. They were also becoming unique women that would enable the right man to expand his mission and ministry. Because of this our prayers became more specific.
We could see now where their strengths could help and their weaknesses could be helped along by a man with certain character qualities. So we sharpened our prayers and kept asking God for the right man. We were now able to pray for specific things.
This is a long-term project. We have been praying for decades about husbands for our daughters. Frankly, it becomes more intense as they arrive at a marriageable age, because the possibility of marriage looms large. Sometimes the years roll by and God seems silent. It gets hard to keep praying when nothing is happening. The lack of tangible answers creates a lot of anxiousness for us as parents. We need to communicate our confidence in God’s provision, and cry out for Him to help our unbelief.
We have learned that the “nothing” we see is simply the result of our limited sight. That doesn’t make the silence any easier for a praying parent, or a praying child. God may be arranging circumstances to bring people together that we do not see – and suddenly things change.
God is faithful to bring about His best for our children. We get in the way. Our children get in the way. But God remains faithful.
It is good to have your children see and hear that you are praying for their future spouse. It is good to spend time observing your children and asking yourself what sort of spouse do they really need. It is good to develop a relationship of trust with your children so that you can provide counsel to them on this very important decision. Do the good things.