I’m not frustrated with my singleness. I’m frustrated with the pressure from others …

Recently, we received an email from a reader asking for help. We considered just answering it ourselves, but the longer we thought about it the more we felt it would be beneficial to have the SingleRoots community weigh in — especially those of us who have been walking the single road for quite some time. Wisdom from elders and stuff like that, you know?

I’m a 21-year old, single female about to graduate from college in a few months. I truly do not have an issue with being single because I feel like God is calling me to be single at this stage of my life.

I have been blessed to have a great church family growing up and now at college. The biggest frustration I have with my church community is that many people my age are either married or engaged. While I’m happy for them, it never fails that I get comments like “It will happen when it happens” or “God’s got someone special for you.” I get so irritated with comments like that.

My friends try and understand my frustration but they are either married, engaged or wishing they were engaged.

My parents are pressuring me to find someone. They got married when they were younger than me. So to them, marriage is the next logical step. I always joke with them that I’m not ready to share my bed yet so there is no way I can get married. I have a fear (half joking, half serious) that my father might actually sign me up for online dating.

When I visit my grandparents, they are more interested in my dating life (or lack thereof)than my academic and professional achievements.

I’m so tired of fighting off all the comments and questions about my desire to be single. So I guess my question is, how can I help people understand my choice and desire to be single? Also, how can I express that my choice and outlook is not out of bitterness but more of a calling from God?

We don’t think she’s alone in her struggle or her frustrations. We’ve heard from countless numbers of people who have experienced the same thing. Heck, we’ve experienced it ourselves. We’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments.

Even if you don’t feel “called” to be single, how do you deal with the pressure from people to get married? How do you gracefully handle comments that can be more discouraging than helpful?


Article originally published on singleroots.com. Used with permission.

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