It isn’t like I expect a miracle. Because I don’t.
Yesterday, I heard these words. I choke on tears right now, just thinking of the exhaustion in them. A child of God so worn-down by her circumstances, she can no longer expect her heavenly Father to do the things only He can do. I’m not judging,
I’m hurting because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that lonely place of praying for something so big for so long that you only get echoes of your own voice back. In those seasons, your faith becomes a wounded bird, wanting to fly but too broken and weary to keep trying.
I’m in the middle of a spiritual revolution and there is a lot of tumult. Lots of churning, burning, misdirection and misunderstanding. One day, I’m awesome. The next day, I’m like Wolfman in Top Gun saying,
We went like this, he went like that. I said to Hollywood, “Where’d he go?” Hollywood says, “Where’d who go?”
Where is the Lord in the lives of others with problems much bigger than mine? If I’m learning to expect big, big things of God (again), why aren’t others? I don’t expect to understand why He does it when He does it, and who He does it for. Understanding isn’t always part of the package. If me, of all people, can believe strong (again), why can’t I or those I pray for get a little bit of meaning in the struggle?
The easy pat answer is because we all have our own journeys to walk with the Lord. We are all at different places in our faith. He has a plan tailored individually to each one of us and it is something that cannot be rushed.
I despise Christian-ese like this, when we seek to explain the unfathomable mysteries of God in 10 words or less; but there is truth in them. (They just may not be the best thing to say at the moment).
Still, it isn’t the whole truth. We can’t make the Lord of the Universe do what we want, when we want Him to act. We can’t alter His way, no matter how good or bad we are. Nothing stops the rolling tide of redemption. He is the God of miracles of the Bible. He is that same God, but it is hard to expect that all the time. Why?
We get tired. We get lazy. We get distracted. But mostly, praying for a miracle when it takes a long time to show up gets really old. Here, we miss that Jesus operates on the scale of ultimate, not passable. What we think will meet our needs is withheld from us because He has something so much better.
The ultimate is what we should expect. When it gets hard to believe in that, others need to do it for you. I’m learning (again) when someone else can’t believe in miracles, I can for them.
The Lord can grow our faith through the faith of others, so I’m not going to give up believing I will see miracles of biblical proportions. I’ve heard Him whisper many times in my heart, “Oh, ye of little faith.” If He has whispered that to you, know He isn’t saying it in reproach or condemnation.
He loves us too much to let us keep going the way of little faith. The Holy Spirit only speaks in the love of the Son in the grace of the Father. He doesn’t push, cajole, fuss or fume. He is not a cosmic toddler throwing a fit when we don’t do what He wants. He waits patiently till we are teachable to His ways. He is infinitely more patient than I.
Hear the words of the great worship leader Asaph, my favorite Psalmist, from #73,
When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy, I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence. I’m still in your presence but you’ve taken my hand. You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me. You’re all I want in heaven! You’re all I want on earth! When my skin sags and my bones get brittle, God is rock-firm and faithful … I’m in the very presence of God – oh, how refreshing it is! I’ve made Lord God my home. God, I’m telling the world what you do! —Psalms 73:21-25, 28, MSG
I want to challenge you today to expect more from God. I know what I’m asking is hard and or maybe impossible. This might be a season of praying for the same thing and absolutely nothing has happened for days / months / years. I get it, really, I do. Don’t stop praying. Keep seeking more from God. Don’t think that what you’ve gotten so far is all you ever will get.
It won’t always be this way!!
Believe He has good gifts to give you – way better than what you are thinking.
Believe in His power, but more importantly, His love. No matter what your mind and heart tell you, go out on a limb of faith. That’s where all the fruit is. He may have to prepare you for what He’s got planned. You may have to confess your unbelief. Either way – His presence will refresh you and give you the strength to believe in miracles.
It is our faith that saves us, dear friend. Depend on it with your life and you won’t be sorry.