Ah, the season of love.
You know it’s that time of year again as you open another invitation to an engagement party, bridal shower or wedding. You listen attentively as your friend tells the story – again – of how he popped the question.
You’re thrilled to be a bridesmaid – again. You gush over bridal magazines with her, nod approvingly at her choice of gown and are there for her as she sweats every detail in preparing for her big day. You’re so happy for her, of course.
You get caught up in the fun of preparation and celebration – until you get The Question. You know it is coming. It always does. Someone will always ask. It’s an unwritten rule. “So,” someone asks you, “what about you, are there wedding bells in your future? Are you seeing anyone right now?”
No matter how you reply – “I’m focusing on my career right now,” or how you deflect the question – “Excuse me, I’m supposed to help the bride with …” you can’t avoid it. That moment during the reception when you might as well be wearing a sign that says, “I don’t have a husband” when all the single ladies are called to the floor for the bouquet toss.
Weddings aren’t the only events that remind a woman of her marital status. At some point you may find yourself wondering, when did getting together with friends become a couples thing, or a bring-the-kids-along thing?
It’s inevitable that as time goes on, more and more of your friends will take the plunge, settle down, start a family. If that’s not you — at least not at the moment — how do you fit in without feeling like a third wheel?
Just Be Yourself
Don’t focus on your relationship status; focus on being the best “you” you can be. You by no means have to be in a relationship or married to be happy; quite the contrary in many cases. Jumping into marriage for the wrong reason — even with the right guy — can be disastrous.
Your time will come. Your future spouse is out there; you just haven’t met him yet. Cliché? Perhaps, but still very good advice. Keep in mind, especially if you are young, that what you want and who you are today may change in a few years. Give yourself a chance to develop into the person you were meant to be, one that “the right guy” will recognize, when the time is right.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. —Ecclesiastes 3:1
Enjoy Life Now
Marriage and family are wonderful, but they change your life. As a single person, it can be easier to focus on personal and career goals because you can put them first; make them your priority. Take this time to travel, indulge in your hobbies and check a few items off your bucket list.
Maintain Your Friendships
All relationships need attention and an ongoing effort to make them work. Don’t isolate yourself from friends just because they’re married or in a relationship and you are single. Reach out with ideas for activities and getting together that work for both of your lifestyles.