After my divorce, I took a break from dating to spend time with my children and raise them the way I felt God calling me to. I spent the past few lonely years growing in ways I never knew possible. Friends were always near to assist, and as time progressed they realized I was in need of a helper and a lover. I was obstinate, claiming that I had no desire to go through the “dating” process, and that I was not ready to open myself up to anyone. They honored my need for Christian companionship and they referred me to ChristianMingle.com. I reluctantly joined. With the tormenting pains of the past failed marriage so clear in my mind, I began to set out on a quest to weed through the distractions and lean on God to do the rest.
I had set such high standards, that I expected it to take a long time to find a woman both able and willing to meet them. After only a short while, I found a woman who exceeded every expectation (and God, being the infinite wise creator He is, gave me, in Cris, a slew of things I later found to desire in a woman). As the days and weeks passed, and as Cris and I continued to patiently lean on His wisdom and grace, He began to reveal to each of us that our two pasts were the fires and trials we had to go through as He molded us for each other’s needs and desires as well as for His glory. I never felt the Hand of God so near to my life as I did this past year.
I was widowed very unexpectedly in the fall of 2008. After much grieving and Godly counsel, I knew that God had someone out there that would be perfectly suited to my needs and personality. I began to ask Him to bring me a Christian man who loved sacrificially, was emotionally stable, and had children or was willing to have or adopt them. After only a few weeks on ChristianMingle, I saw Wes’ profile and messaged him. From our first 4 hour IM conversations on December 2nd, there was something incredibly unique about this connection. We were both seeking God’s plan in finding a spouse; neither of us was looking to “just date”. His love for the Lord and for his 4 daughters was immediately apparent and our transparent communication found us revealing our innermost thoughts, needs, and failures in the first few days.
We spoke, emailed, texted, and IM’ed our way through the next few weeks, each time connecting on a deeper level. I live in California and had already planned a trip to Missouri for Christmas to see my parents, so we worked out a first date that included him picking me up from my parents’ house, having coffee in a neighborhood diner, walking along the river, visiting with my family, and analyzing a shared literary interest over a meal. It was a truly memorable day.
After that first date, we arranged for me to spend more time with him in Missouri and meet his daughters. God had obviously prepared all of our hearts as the girls were completely responsive and loving from the first meeting. It was clear by the time I left Missouri that we had something truly amazing and potentially life-long.
Several visits to Missouri and California later, we know that God had used this medium of internet dating to bring us together to be married. There are a myriad of pieces that fit perfectly: Wes’ daughters are ready to have a step-mom and I have been praying for children, we both get along great with the other’s parents (and both sets of parents get along together), I was able and willing to re-locate, we share the same values, priorities, and sense of humor, and so many more.
Wes proposed and picked out a ring with the help of his girls, and we will be married on December 2, 2011.
ChristianMingle is an amazing tool. We believe as long as there are those who wait on the Lord, He will reveal His work in mighty and incredible ways. No earthly medium is perfect, but our match was made perfect by His handiwork on the website.