Dating in the modern world is complex and difficult to navigate, especially for a Christian who faithfully follows God’s commandments. This is especially true when children are involved. Whether you’re a parent or not, dating someone who has children requires you to think about whether or not you’re ready to start a new relationship with both that person and their children. Here are a few things to think about as you consider getting involved with someone who has children.
Can You Serve as a Role Model?
Kids need help to learn who they are, what’s expected of them and what they’re capable of achieving. While you’re not their parent, as an adult who will be spending time with them, you are a natural role model for them to follow. Are you willing to teach them how to live a life of integrity? Can you imagine yourself listening to them in a time of need? And, most importantly, will you share God’s message with them? If you’re not willing to answer these questions, then you’re probably not ready to date someone with children.
Can You Step Back When Necessary?
When you date someone with children, you naturally spend a lot of time with both your partner and their kids. Hopefully you will find someone who you think makes a great parent, but there may be times when you don’t agree with their parenting style. When you find yourself in an awkward or frustrating situation because you don’t agree with their actions, can you let go and allow that person to ultimately make the decision that’s right for their children? If you can’t step down when asked to (or if you just don’t agree with your dates parenting style), you should rethink the relationship.
Children must be protected as the first priority of single Christian parents entering the dating scene. You should know that there will be times when your new partner needs alone time with their kids. When these inevitable moments arise, can you handle giving them the space they need to be alone together? In order to date someone with children, you need to realize that you won’t be their first priority because their children will always come first. If that idea doesn’t scare you away, you are in the right state of mind to date someone with children.
Are You Comfortable with Their Ex Still in the Picture?
While you likely won’t see your date’s ex-partner often, that person is hopefully still a part of their children’s life. And if they are, you may see them from time to time. Ask yourself if you are comfortable with this idea. If you are a jealous person who can’t handle the thought of running into your date’s ex, you probably shouldn’t be dating that person. You don’t want to make your date or their children uncomfortable by trying to keep them from that person. It’s not fair and it’s not healthy.
Finding someone special can be a tough process, and it’s only harder when there are children involved. If you’re thinking about dating a single parent, be sure to pray and prepare your heart for this new journey. When you date someone, you entering into a relationship with children as well. That means you may have to deal with custody arrangements, in-laws, and other unforeseeable complications. Be aware of the potential difficulties, but don’t be overwhelmed. God’s will can always be accomplished!