The heartbeat of Christianity is love, the kind of love that sacrifices for the wellbeing of another. Phil. 2:3-5 expressed the goal of a good way to make everyday a Valentine’s Day as a single:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…”

So for Valentine’s Day, or something this week, try to MINGLE like a CHRISTIAN.

Try something that feels pretty CHRISTIAN because it is placing someone’s needs above your own:

heartHonor your parents. If they are married to each other, create a “this is your love” night where the kids and grandkids retell their love story and the special memories along their life path. Go the extra mile and cook his and hers favorite foods. (If your folks are divorced, plan a heart healing night out where you treat your mom or dad to a dinner out where you foot the bill and tell him/her thanks for being your parent.)

heartHost a party with a purpose. Select a missions project, third world need, or local charity and have everyone who attends the party bring a contribution. An easy option is a dinner party where each person brings the nonperishables for a family to make a dinner then donate those goods to a local food pantry. Other options could be a “Diva Dinner” and all bring make up and personal toiletries to donate to a women’s shelter, or a “Sole” food dinner and serve authentic soul food then all participants donate their shoes (soles) to homeless shelter.

heartTake a week around Valentine’s to do charity work in a third world country or spend a day or weekend on a service project in the inner city or a poverty zone in the rural countryside. (To find local charities, talk with your pastor, the Missions pastor, a local Christian bookstore, or check the local Christian newspaper or website in your city).

heartChristian Mingle offers Good Deed Dating, so why not create one of your own. Talk with your pastor, single’s ministry director, or just send out a social media invitation where the meeting place is a local food bank, or homeless shelter. (Be sure to make arrangements with the local charity of choice ahead of time!) 

Try something to help you MINGLE:

Host a mixer or dinner party and invite your closest friends, but ask each friend to bring two friends and widen your social circle.

Have a girlfriends’ gathering: Each bring your favorite appetizers (or food for a potluck) and spend time surfing Christian Mingle and see who you can connect with and send them a word of encouragement.

Call the guys together and do something to boost testosterone: golf, racquetball, the batting cages, skeet shooting, then add on something to  prove you are a true gentleman: shovel snow off some single women’s sidewalks, pool your wisdom to tune up a single women’s car engine, or strap on your tool belt and dive into a home improvement project.

Host a contest: a chili cookoff; best chocolate dessert culinary challenge; a bike race or fun run. Take your favorite hobby and put out the word through social media of a meet up and match off!

Take a road trip to a Christian conference or concert. Volunteer to spearhead the carpool and mix up the passengers to build some new friendships. To make things more interesting, rotate seats in cars along the route at each stop.

Have a blast to the past with one of these activities of enjoyed as a teen:

• A car rally: Leave clues around  town and create teams for a photo at each location

• A Geo cache: Enjoy the outdoors with a group using your GPS, compass and sense of adventure as you locate the “cache” with some teamwork.

• A Progressive Dinner: Go from home to home in your friendship circle and have one course of a meal in each place.

Swim Upstream: In our newest book, Red Hot Romance Tips for Women, award winning song writer, Dave Clark, suggests creativity is sparked when you think counter-intuitive. For example, get dressed to the nines in formal wear, then hop from one fast food restaurant to another for various snacks: For example, soup at Subway, fries at McDonald’s, a burger at Smashburger, a shake at Wendy’s, chicken nuggets at Chick-fil-A, and dessert at Baskin-Robbins, etc.  Bonus points if you gather a group and pitch in together to rent a limo and pile in all your friends for this inexpensive zany night out. (Of course you can use the limo to travel from one five star or “A list” place to another — but that is so “normal” — try something different!)

The common thread in all these ideas is initiative. Here is the good news, initiative and friendliness, are two of the traits that others find most attractive in a future spouse. So be bold! Be brave! Be the one who makes things happen, and that loving care you are showing for others might just boomerang back and someone special might start caring about getting to know you! 


Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, relationship experts, and authors of over 38 books including Single Men Are Like Waffles, Single Women are Like Spaghetti; 10 Best Decisions a single Can Make and The Before Your Marry Book of Questions. For information on resources by the Farrels:

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