Some unmarried folks are a little daunted by the prospect of marriage. After all, it’s one of the biggest commitments you’ll ever make. So how do you navigate through the fear of marriage? Here are a few things to ease your mind when “‘til death do us part” seems a little scary.
Even before the vows of matrimony are shared, there is the beauty of becoming someone’s closest confidant. We understand that friendship isn’t entirely encompassing of marriage, but it is a strong foundation. By knowing you’d be sharing your life with your closest confidant, there is peace that filters through your being. Even as you grow old together, that friendship isn’t going to be watered down over time if it’s rooted in the Father. Friendship does not have eyes for appearance; no one is privileged by not growing old. We are only graced with the time we’re given, and to share it with someone is one of the miracles of marriage.
In marriage, grace is constantly flowing and so should be freely given. “But since you excel in everything – in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you – see that you also excel in this grace of giving” (2 Corinthians 8:7). Perhaps there is a fear that your spouse will do something unforgivable that will destroy the hope you had in your marriage; that shouldn’t halt grace. The love you share should propel grace and allow forgiveness in troubled times. “Love is not self-seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
A marriage prospers by encouraging and by the giving of yourself wholly. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). It’s like “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein; even to our old age, we should always be giving of ourselves, no matter what we have left. This is the constant state that love is, because love isn’t changing. We have the will to change, and the power to uplift one another. We should gladly do this in a marriage.
One of the quieter truths of marriage that I believe ties a marriage together is the holy reverence of Christ. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). If we are willingly submitting to one another out of selflessness and humbleness, then a marriage won’t feel like pulling strings to make things happen; instead, actions are willingly taken out of a love that is reflective of the love we have for Christ. That kind of love simply will never fail. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
One of the other gifts of marriage is its constant state of transparency and vulnerability. Vulnerability is a pure trait in a marriage because it’s where the openness is being filled by trust, knowing that what is shared will be embraced. In God’s Word, He tell us that what comes out of the mouth is what comes from the heart, not the body. In that truth, we know that we have the power to seal our love even tighter with our words, or loosen the hope in our marriage with destructive words.
To be faithful in prayer, patient in affliction and joyful in hope, is almost a tri-fold blessing that God asks of us, because He knows that the prospect of marriage will stand firm by doing this. God desires for your hope in a marriage to radiate under a heavenly veil, where it pulses, waits and desires to be unveiled by the hands of the greatest blessing standing in front of you.
You may also be interested in Why Pre-Engagement Counseling Is A Smart Idea For Young Couples