You can pray earnestly and ask God for your needs and desires to be met, and that includes praying for a spouse. He wants to be involved in this life-changing experience of you finding a soul mate and living out a committed love in marriage.

But we need to have an understanding of what God will and won’t do for us. If you are waiting for God to do something in your life while He is waiting on you to take action, disappointment and disillusionment can needlessly occur.

God Won’t Choose For You

Joshua 24:15 says, “Choose you this day whom you will serve.” God won’t make us commit our lives to him. In the same way, God wants us to choose our spouse and choose to love them dearly and daily. He will not do that for us. We have to choose our spouse in the very beginning, and then we have to choose them again and again on a daily basis. When our will is involved, our heart will be also.

Now, God in His providential may lead us to a suitable spouse directly or indirectly, but we have to see this person as a gift with our own eyes and involve our will to make it our choice as well. We can’t over-spiritualize this. God has given us a sound mind to discern, perceive and make choices. God holds us accountable for our choices, and expects us to grow in maturity as we learn to make healthy decisions.

God Won’t Do The Searching For You

There is a joy in the search for and discovery of blessings. Proverbs 25:2 tells us, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” We search for the things we earnestly desire.

Meanwhile, the Bible tells us that, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” To find something, you have to search for it. There is a joyous thrill in searching for your spouse and later having a beautiful story to tell of how you found one another, how you met and how God led you there.

God Will Counsel You

The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will counsel us. Jesus said in John 10:10, “My sheep hear My voice.” This counsel is pivotal to our lives, helping confirm when we’ve made good choices and warning us when we are off track. We should look for confirmation that we are in His will and living our lives in harmony with Scriptural principles. This confirmation stabilizes our commitments and reassures us that God will be with us in all of the joys and challenges that lie ahead.

Learn to notice the promptings in your spirit to stay out of an unhealthy relationship, or to pause before committing, or to open your heart to the possibility of love. God’s counsel is earmarked by peace and a correlation to the Word of God. His counsel can also come through mature godly friends, a pastor or the caring relatives in your life. Learn to be sensitive to His counsel and you can be directed to a connection with someone that could wind up becoming your future spouse.

God Will Convict You When You’re Out of Alignment With Him

I had a conversation with a woman one day who was in a troubled, abusive relationship. Her family had tried to warn her of this man’s questionable character, but she didn’t listen to them. When I asked how she wound up with this man, she said, “I followed my heart. That’s why I married him. Don’t you follow your heart?”

“No, I don’t!” I said, with eyebrows raised in concern and compassion. I shared with her how the Bible tells us our hearts are deceptive (Jer. 17:9) and that only God can really sift through our motives and intentions and convict us when we are hell-bent on a bad thing for us. Conviction is a type of spiritual fire extinguisher. It’s an airlift when you’re on an island of deception and confusion. If you respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the counsel of God’s Word, you’ll stay in safe territory and be set free for a truly loving relationship.

God will lead us in paths of peace, but He won’t drop us onto them. We need to understand what He will and won’t do when we come to Him in prayer. Every answer from God is for our ultimate good.

You may also be interested in The Simple Prayer Habit That Could Radically Transform Your Life