What if someone came up to you and said, “Your desire for a husband is a holy desire.” Wouldn’t you raise a quizzical brow? How can a man wanting a wife, or a woman wanting a husband, be a holy desire?
The truth is that this longing is God-planted. It’s in the very roots of who God is, even before we existed.
“And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” —Genesis 2:18
A Sacred Union
God declares it from His own lips that it is not good for man to be alone. So, He made man a helper. If we look at the word holy by definition, it’s something “dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred.” Marriage is a sacred union between man and woman; it’s so sacred, in fact, that it’s not easy to just pick anyone. God has ordained marriage as something holy. Thus, the desire for a husband or wife is not sinful in nature or desperate in tone. It is holy itself.
If God wanted all of His creation to be single, He would have made that very clear. But what did our God do? He gifted Adam and Eve with each other. He gave them more than they dared imagine – dominion, land, food, livestock and just pure life. They felt no pain, not even the sweltering sun, because they were without sin.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” —Proverbs 18:22
It’s not like God allowed Adam to live a hundred years without Eve before she was created. They grew old together because God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone.
As we all know, though, the forbidden fruit was eaten from, and the rest is history. With sin, however, comes this horrible tendency to think sin-like. I don’t deserve a husband because I’m not a worthy Christian. I don’t deserve a wife because I’m addicted to drugs or watching dirty films. I’m dirt, so desiring a partner is a sinful desire. I don’t have a pure heart or pure intentions.
Imagine how God feels when He hears His children who were designed to have a partner believe they were destined to be alone? God never intended for us to think so fleshly and tiny that we fail to see His infinite mercy and grace and the power that He has over our lives. We need to change, lest we are stuck in that tiny little mindset and live in a hellish game of trying to please and “do good” but falling short every single day. It’s a game that Satan loves to win, and he already has over so many people. They are a slave to a performance-based faith.
Called to Marriage
Your desire is there because it’s designed to be there; very few people are called to singleness. It only becomes wrong when one begins to desire a partner more than they desire God. Wanting a husband or a wife is a holy pursuit because marriage is the shedding of ourselves for the sake of someone else. You are both growing together in Christ, there’s only holiness in that. Continue to pray and surrender your love life to the Father; He knows your desires and he certainly intends on giving them to you.
You may also be interested in Important Questions To Ask When Preparing For Marriage