Love is patient and love is kind, but waiting for love can be a pain in the neck! Now it’s spring time and time to go to all those weddings where you are once again the groomsman, but never the groom. You begin to wonder if you’ll ever find “the one,” or if you should just acknowledge that you’re destined for singleness. I know, I’ve been there, too.
But I found my bride. It was later than I would have liked, but in hindsight, it was perfecting timing. This year we’ll be celebrating 22 years of marriage. For Valentine’s Day I gave her a card that said, “I’m still not sick of you.” I can’t imagine having anyone else by my side.
Now, before you throw up and click away from this article, remember I said, “I’ve been there, too.” Some people I know hop from one date to another hoping to find love, only to be disappointed once again. Others, like me, have a hard time meeting the right girl. But she’s out there, I know it. Here are some things to consider:
Trust That God Knows What He Is Doing
The only person who knows you better than yourself is the one who made you. You may look around today and not see any possibilities for romance, but what about tomorrow? There is a saying that goes, “I don’t know what the future holds but I know who holds the future.” If you are feeling discouraged, allow yourself to feel that way for a while. Then, at the end of the day, tell God about your frustrations and choose to allow Him to work on things in His time. You may have to do this over and over again, and it’s okay if you do.
Get Your Priorities Straight
It’s tempting to make your move on the first girl who shows you any attention, but that isn’t always the wisest thing to do. You need to have some common foundation on which to build from. Eharmony.com says that their number one Christian dating tip is this: make spiritual compatibility a top priority. St. Paul wrote about this very same principle. He said:
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war —2 Corinthians 6:14
For People of Faith…
It’s easy to push values aside when a pretty girl comes into the room and seems to have all the qualities that you’re looking for. The truth is, if she doesn’t love Jesus as much as you do, your relationship will always be lopsided. You don’t have to start your conversation with, “Are you a Christian?” (Most likely, the conversation will end right there anyway.) But try to find out where she is spiritually as soon as you can.
Date Your Best Friend
For many, the end goal of marriage is to find that you are married to your best friend. Instead, try going in the opposite direction. If you find that your current dating partner will never be anything more than someone who is fun to hang out with, they are not right for you. You need someone who you can really talk to and who will accept you as you are, not for who they hope you will be.
In an article posted on YourTango.com, Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz offered some amazing insights. “As our thousands of interviews with happily married couples throughout the world reveal, no relationship has ever passed the test of time without also being a friendship. Couples in longtime successful marriages always view their spouse as their best friend.”
The two go on to tell a story about what happened when on a trip to Rio de Janeiro. “When we asked the most prominent physician in the city who his best friend was, he named 10 people — and none of them were his wife of 37 years! When we asked his wife who her best friend was, she also gave 10 names and, like him, the list did not include her husband. They both told us how important their circles of friends were, never mentioning each other in those comments.” While in Sydney, Australia, they met another couple with a similar response, “To our surprise, both people in this loving relationship did not consider each other their best friend. We probed, but neither would admit that their spouse was even one of their best friends. The simple truth of the matter is this: these two couples professed to ‘love’ each other, but they did not ‘like’ each other.”
Personally, I’ve seen too many Christian marriages end when one spouse became bored with the other.
Don’t Expect Everything to Be Perfect
Some guys stress out when they find out that they don’t always feel “head over heels” in love with the one that they are dating. Some bail on their first fight. The truth of the matter is that relationships are built on all types of scenarios. It won’t always be fun, but if you are meant to be together, you will always have joy. I never enjoy looking back on the arguments that I have had with my wife, but I have learned that going through the “unfun” times only strengthened our relationship in the end.