It has been a long time since I heard a husband who has been married 20 years or longer say, “I am intoxicated with my wife.” Sadly, I have heard lots of cynical comments:
- “She’s the boss and there is no talking to her.”
- “I used to be crazy about her, now she just drives me crazy.”
- “I am tired of her manipulations.”
- “She isn’t happy unless she’s in charge.”
- “She makes life too difficult.”
With all this negativity, many husbands are left wondering if it’s really possible to keep the love alive in their marriages.
Love In Different Seasons Of Life
Proverbs 5:18-19 contains a fascinating life challenge: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
We live in a world that glamorizes being young and defines beauty as a state of being void of any signs of age. Despite the commercials, my wife and I both look older than we did when got married over 35 years ago. I have also noticed that menopause has a bigger impact on Pam than beauty marketing does. I commonly hear from her:
- “It is so hot in here. Aren’t you hot also?”
- “Ugh, my skin is so itchy. It is hard to be happy when your skin itches so much.”
- “I bet nobody is going to want to come to our house for Christmas. I guess I wasn’t a good enough mom.”
- “I can’t sleep at night and I can’t stay awake during the day. I hate this.”
I never dreamed of hearing these things when I fell in love with the wife of my youth. Now that we are no longer in our youth, how am I going to stay fascinated with her as we face menopause and beyond?
Looking back, Pam has changed significantly about every seven years; that means I have been married to five wives and they are all named Pam! Her body changes, her goals morph and her emotional reactions adjust to the new realities of life. I have also noticed that each new season uncovers new wisdom, new ways of loving and new levels of security in her.
Ways To Keep Your Love “Young”
My fascination with Pam today is different than when we were young, but it is still strong. You, too, can “rejoice in the wife of your youth” by practicing a few simple habits:
- Compliment your wife for the wisdom she has gained through her life experience. It is deeper than the flirting she used to do and the shallow way she was proud of you when you were young.
- Talk courageously about the changes that accompany the second half of life. Studies show that couples who talk about how to adjust to each season of life are more interested in one another as time marches on.
- Deliberately do things that build a friendship with your wife. Studies also show the friendship you develop with your wife is one of the keys to staying in love.
- Pray together about your intimate life. Prayer is one of the most intimate activities on earth. When you take it one step further and pray about how you want to express love to one another, God helps you stay intoxicated with her love.
We can’t stay young forever, but we can stay in love!
You may also be interested in 3 Steps For Accepting Your Partner’s Perfect Imperfection