Courtship or dating adds an entirely new dimension to the holidays.
You’ve seen the movies that present Thanksgiving disaster scenarios where future in-laws make a potential spouse squirm with unease and downright fear.
Spending Thanksgiving with a could-be spouse begs many considerations, but if you are prepared for any possible situation, you’ll be grateful long after the holiday has ended. Hopefully, you’ll make some pleasant memories while you’re at it.
Thanksgiving with a potential spouse quite often means more than just the two of you fighting over the wishbone and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or football game snuggled in each other’s arms. It might mean that you meet his or her family for the very first time, or at least maybe it’s the very first time you actually share a holiday together.
Some of the questions and thoughts that run through your head may be: “What should I wear?” or, “Will I need to make overnight sleeping arrangements?” Another thought could be wondering how to start creative and lasting Thanksgiving traditions together.
While you probably feel as if you are auditioning for a starring role while hoping you don’t embarrass yourself in front of your future in-laws, this is really a good time to secretly conduct a little interview of your own. Watch how his or her family interacts with each other. Is this camaraderie something you see yourself being able to live with for countless future Thanksgivings to come?
Of course, set an example of being thankful and gracious. Bring a host or hostess gift to set the tone and display an attitude of thankfulness.
If it is your family hosting the Thanksgiving Day meal, make your potential spouse feel at ease by avoiding any possible awkward catastrophes. For instance, if your family sees all alcoholic drinks as something that should be avoided at all costs, warn your sweetheart not to show up with a bottle of wine as a hostess gift.
If keeping your relationship pure until marriage is important to you, an out-of-town Thanksgiving visit may also mean carefully deciding about overnight sleeping arrangements. Even if the two of you find no temptation in sharing a hotel room or a bedroom at your potential in-law’s house, how does that look to others? There may be a younger sibling, niece or nephew who is looking to you as a godly example.
If you are already engaged and know for certain that this person will be your life-long partner, then use the Thanksgiving holiday to begin your own traditions. Buy a tablecloth that you can write on with fabric marker. Use the markers to write down some things that the two of you are thankful about which occurred throughout that year. Be sure to write the date underneath your thankful thoughts. Each Thanksgiving after this one, pull out the tablecloth and add more thoughts of gratitude.
Another fun tradition to start is to create your own Thanksgiving tree or jar filled with notes reminding the two of you of your thankful hearts.
Deciding on marriage is a life-changing decision. Even though it is a happy occasion, it should never be entered into lightly.
Though, the following scripture is not typically used with the idea of possible marriage in mind, it is applicable to consider when you’re facing potentially life-changing quandaries:
Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. —Matthew 10:16
In other words, use wisdom while keeping your relationship pure and Christ centered. These are words to live by when approaching any interpersonal encounter, and they are words you will be thankful you heeded when treading on the new territory of spending Thanksgiving with your potential spouse.
Also, be on your guard about hidden innuendos. The Bible also warns about using wisdom to avoid any misunderstandings that stem from how something might look, even if it’s nothing like it appears.
Abstain from all appearances of evil. —1 Thessalonians 5:22, KJV