Sometimes, the greatest blessings come from burdens, as I discovered one weekend. I’d gone to a women’s retreat– filled with laughing, joking, meeting new people, shaking hands, eating together, attending workshops and chapel services, and plenty of fun and games. However, being that I had a terrible headache, my activities consisted of retreating to my room.
My roommate and everyone else had gone to that evening’s worship service. A feeling of guilt came over me. Here I was, where I’d wanted to be all week. Here was the moment… to meet new people, to see God in a new way, to share my experience, strength and hope to help energize someone else. I was up in the mountains with ample opportunity to make friends, and I was feeling lousy. All I could do was lie here in the quiet.
My mind began to wander. I thought about the last time my heart had been broken. Whatever happened to him anyway? Had he gotten married? Anyway, what else was new? I’d never really stopped thinking about him since it happened– and that was a long time ago. I began to talk to the Lord. I told him my desire to be married was driving me crazy– and now I was alone to contemplate it. It seemed strange to me that a desire so good in God’s sight could be such a burden. In the middle of stating my case, I heard his gentle whisper:
“I’m here,” he said. That was all.
The next thing I remember was waking from a deep sleep. The room was dark. My headache was completely gone, and the Lord’s presence was there with me. I mouthed the words thank you, realizing how precious it was that He’d been watching over me the whole time. I then apologized because I’d been complaining so much. I occurred to me that I’d worn myself out telling Jesus things he already knew. He had not held it against me, or said he was tired of hearing it. He just came through with his still, small voice.
I began reflecting on the day I’d had. I’d gotten up early, after not getting much sleep. I’d rushed to leave, and been in a van for four hours. I’d removed my luggage twice, not realizing that we weren’t yet at my cabin, and waited around in a sea of people to pick up my key. Is it any wonder that by dinner time that evening I was exhausted? However, in the quiet of that room, I’d become completely refreshed. Matt. 11:28 came to mind: “Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” I realized that this was exactly what the Lord had done! I thought about that evening’s services and the activity I was missing. I now realized that what I had thought was a terrible let down had been a privilege God had set aside just for me. An ear to ear grin came over my face. Though I’d been irritated because of what I’d wanted, my Heavenly Father had given me what I needed. Maybe I didn’t have a marriage partner, but my friend who sticks closer than a brother had comforted me– and His comfort is perfect!