Everyone wants to put their best foot forward when it comes to first dates and new relationships. Most people anticipate their first date by shopping for a new outfit, trying out a new cologne, and getting the car washed. Some call and ask for advice from friends on how to approach the date, or where to take their date for the evening. Some even picture all the romantic moments to come and hope that they will soon feel the first stirrings of love.

But as we enter the dating scene, we encounter a world of challenges and we’re stretched beyond our early thoughts of how we thought it would be.  And while these preparations are helpful, there’s one word that can ultimately revolutionize your dating life: humility.

On The Way To Love

It takes genuine humility to participate in the process of meeting, connecting and falling in love because it takes an admission of our hopes and of who we are at the very core. Humility is not a word normally equated with having a healthy social life, mainly because it is often improperly defined and misapplied to our lives.

Humility isn’t about being down on yourself. It’s really about freedom – freedom from pride and conceit, freedom from performance anxiety, and freedom from the fear of being known. It’s about being realistic and appropriately vulnerable in our social connections. Christ is our role model when it comes to seeing how humility is fleshed out. Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart…” (Matthew 11:29)

This freedom from arrogance can beautify your budding relationships. Dating with a humble attitude can actually revolutionize your dating life and bring you closer to the kind of healthy relationship that God can bless.

Just As I Am

Here’s how staying humble can help you actually enjoy the dating process, even with its ups and downs.

• Having humility helps us understand that it’s okay for first dates to be awkward or sometimes contain some embarrassing moments. This kind of humble attitude takes into account that not only are people not perfect, but first date situations usually aren’t, either. An unexpected rain shower on your first hike together where you both get drenched and your new hair style goes flat doesn’t have to be the end of the world. If your date arrives an hour late due to traffic, a humble attitude can handle the delay with grace and peace.
• Humility helps us give an accurate picture of who we are. It’s good to present an accurate healthy picture of ourselves when we first talk to people. We don’t have to inflate our achievements, but nor do we have to deny our accomplishments that we worked hard to achieve. True humility helps you reveal who you actually are, so that the person who starts falling for you is actually falling in love with the real you and not a contrived persona you felt you had to portray.
• Having a humble approach to dating will actually help you take appropriate risks. Every first date is a type of risk; you don’t know how it will go or if it will result in a second date. Humility means accepting that you’re not in complete control of the situation and instead allows God to stretch you through these dating situations.

Humility is all about our mindset when it comes to how we see others and how we see ourselves. Neither extreme benefits us: an over-reaching ego that quickly dismisses others, or a timid low self-esteem that doesn’t think someone could ever see your worth. God wants us to walk humbly with Him, trusting Him to guide us into a relationship where we can build each other up in love and grace. Learn to laugh and smile, reflect your true self, and take the risk of opening up. You’re ready for the journey, and it starts with humility.

You may also be interested in Compromise & Compatibility: What Do I Have To Give Up For Love?