The relationship between a mother and daughter can be a complex one, to say the least. While the bond can be great during the younger years with mother/daughter shopping trips and nail painting sessions, there is often some strain on the relationship during the years of adolescence.
Adolescence can be a difficult time in both young girls’ and boys’ lives, due to the different emotional and physical changes that occur during this time. There will inevitably be mistakes, misjudgments and conflict that arise between mother and daughter.
However, during these times of conflict, it is important to understand that the unconditional love between mother and child is something that is unbreakable.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. —1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This is something that can be especially difficult to keep in mind when the conflict revolves around a disliked boyfriend. While it can be hopeful to assume that your parent will absolutely love your boyfriend and feel that he is the perfect person for you, this won’t always be the case.
There are a number of things to think about in this particular situation to prevent it from causing undue stress on your relationship with your mother.
The first thing to remember is that, although you may feel that your boyfriend will undoubtedly be in your life forever, the only certainty you have is that you mother will always be your mother. The bond you have with your mother is something that can never be taken away and should be treasured as such. No boyfriend or disagreement should ever be able to get in the way of the love and bond you have with your mom.
Another thing to understand is that new love can sometimes blind a person, while a parent can bring age, wisdom and a new perspective to a relationship or person to see it for what it really is. It’s important to listen and communicate with your parent in order to fully take in what they have to say about your boyfriend.
While it can be easy to turn a deft ear when dealing with a parent that does not share your same views, listening with an open heart can allow for more understanding on what the true conflict is about.
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. —1 Corinthians 15:33
The last thing to consider when dealing with a mother that may not like your boyfriend is the fact that it can be difficult for a parent to witness her child growing up and potentially leaving the nest. While every parent wants her child to grow, prosper and one day start her own family, the actual process can be heartbreaking for many parents.
Sometimes it won’t matter how great the boyfriend might be because mom is either not ready to see her little one in that light or believes there is no one out there good enough for her baby girl.
While it can be frustrating dealing with the conflict that can come from a parent and boyfriend not getting along, it’s important to look at all the facets of the conflict, including getting to the root of your mom’s issue with your new boyfriend.
Patience is a virtue that can come in handy, whether it’s being patient with a parent as she watches you to grow into an adult or learning to work on communication with your mom and seek guidance in the Lord.