Just because you and your best friend get along like peanut butter and jelly, doesn’t necessarily mean the two of you have personalities compatible with the same types of people. When your friend brings a new person into the group that rubs you the wrong way, it’s important to remember to keep your cool. After all, you don’t want your existing friendship to be ruined just because your friend has created a new relationship with someone else.
The Word says: If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. —Romans 12:18
If your friend introduces you to his or her new friend, and you discover you do not like the person, think about why that is. Could it be that you are jealous of this new friend and the time she’s taking away from you and your best pal? Instead of getting jealous, make an effort to get to know the newbie of the group — invite her shopping or for a one-on-one coffee date. You may find that the two of you actually jive after all.
Still not feeling it? The people we choose as friends usually have qualities we admire or a personality that complements our own. Sometimes people have personas that are opposite ours, and that can be fascinating. But other times, those differences can be downright annoying — opposites don’t always attract, and that’s OK!
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. —Proverbs 17:17
Many believe that this verse is talking about friendship. It is simple to be friends when times are good, but you find your true friends when your circumstances or actions are difficult. Loving your friend, even when you do not agree with his choices, is the true test of friendship.
How to Handle Your Friend’s New Confidante
- Ask God why you are having such a difficult time with this person. God may show you some things about yourself that you see in the other person, and this can be a growth opportunity for you.
- When you are with your friend and the new acquaintance, try to see the person through your friend’s eyes. Usually, our friends are a reflection of ourselves, so try to discover what your friend likes about the person and focus on this.
- Do not nag your friend about the person. Instead, talk honestly with your friend about your feelings.
- Do not tell your friend that if he or she continues the friendship with the person you do not like, you will not be friends anymore. Saying this reveals that you are not a true friend
- If you cannot stand being around the new person, excuse yourself from group activities that include the friend you do not like. However, do not isolate yourself from your friend.
- Plan activities for you and your friend that you can do together, but are not designed to exclude your friend’s friend. You can make plans to play racquetball, have lunch, or go shopping to spend time with each other.
If all else fails, let some time pass. If your friend’s new compadre is really and truly a bad or untrustworthy human being, trust your friend to realize this.