There’s one unfortunate dating scenario that all too many people experience; after a year or even more, they find themselves having wasted their time on someone who really never fulfilled the promises they said they would. How can you tell if you’ll be caught up in this trap? How do you know if you’re just wasting your time? Here are three warning signs to watch out for.
1. Life Goals
Ask them about their life goals. Have they accomplished any, or are they on their way to? You can tell a lot from someone who has a lot of talk and not a lot of walk. Where is the fruit of their labors? I don’t just mean financially, but let’s be real, if they can’t afford even a single date, you may want to seriously think about whether they’re in a place to even date to begin with. Dating ultimately involves marriage, and this is where it gets scary.
Are they in a place for marriage within two, three or five years? Do you find yourself waiting on them, or even changing your life around them? That is a major sign that you may find yourself waiting years for a more serious commitment. Be very cautious to not change your dreams for someone to catch up to theirs, especially if they are only talking about things all the time and not actually making any advancement to pursue them or make it happen.
“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” —Proverbs 14:23
I understand love is strong, and can overcome anything, but be wary of dating someone who isn’t in a state to even grapple with the idea of marriage. Otherwise, you may be waiting longer than you ever imagined for someone to get their life established. Of course, a job doesn’t do this, but being capable of supporting someone does show a character of responsibility and an understanding of what a relationship entails.
If one is okay with uncertainty, then it’s a rocky pathway to finding joy in the relationship, because you may always be wondering, “When are they going to be able and ready for a marriage? Do I have to put my life on hold?” Of course, love requires sacrifice, but don’t be afraid to be bold and confront your special someone and share with them your concerns and feelings about the direction of the relationship and your heartfelt desires.
3. Future Plans
Does the person you’re dating ever talk about the future? This doesn’t mean looking forward to a trip next month or a concert coming up in a few weeks. Find out what they envision when they think one year, five years or ten years into the future. If they can’t even think a year ahead, odds are that marriage is not on their mind. If you’re looking to settle down, you need someone who is willing to make long-term plans with you rather than just focusing on having fun in the present.
Don’t be afraid to ask yourself if this relationship is truly what God has planned for you. God never gives any gift out of convenience, but only because it’s the best for you.
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