Ever wonder why moms and daughters tend to clash?*

If they’re alike, they can butt heads. If they’re different, they can misunderstand each other. But that’s just my opinion.

My daughter, Dana, had some insights to share in our book, When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter. And she shared them from the stage, at my Book-Signing Talk & Dessert last week at Valley Bible Church, where my husband (and her Dad) pastors.

If you weren’t able to join us, this is what Dana had to say:

“I think one reason mothers and daughters have a difficult time dealing with certain issues is because one will want to talk about it and the other won’t. When mothers and daughters are alike, they can tend to clash, especially if they are both strong-willed and independent, and each wants to get their message across first. Also, it they are both having their periods, then everything is magnified ten times over! Women are naturally emotional, so for two women to come together and work things out can get difficult sometimes. And between a mother and daughter it can get especially challenging!”

“One particular challenge is that daughters can be different than their moms expect because of the way they are like their fathers. Mothers don’t have genes and personality traits from their husbands, but their daughters do. So mothers will start to see traits of the father in their child. In my case, I have my dad’s sense of humor and introverted personality. When I make a joke, sometimes my mother doesn’t understand and gets offended, whereas my dad will laugh it off and joke along with me. Sometimes mothers don’t understand why their daughters act so differently from them, but one reason is because the father helped make the child, too. A child is going to have traits from both mom and dad, so she is going to be different … something the mother won’t always understand because she doesn’t possess those traits. The mom simply marries the man, but the child has his DNA!”

There you have it. Your child is going to be different from you — in many ways. Appreciate your children’s uniqueness. Celebrate their differences. They are uniquely who God designed them to be.

I’d love to hear the ways your son or daughter is like you … and how they’re different from you. Dana made a whole chart of our similarities and differences (page 28 in the book) and had fun doing it. I think you might enjoy it, too.


*This article was originally written/published by the author under the title “A Few Words from Dana…Why Moms & Daughters Tend to Clash.”

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