Experts state that those who are living in the moment are happier, more empathetic, secure, and have lowered rates of depression, binge eating, and attention problems. They are able to live in the present instead of worrying about work, the future, or when they will meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Being present in your current situations takes intentionality and practice. Living in the moment involves a profound paradox – you cannot pursue it for its benefits – because the expectation of reward launches a future oriented mindset, which sabotages the entire process. Instead, you must trust that the Lord truly does have good things for you and that His plans for you will come in his time and his way.

By being hyper focused on seeking that person, one is not present in current circumstances and interactions, thus possibly missing an interaction with potential dates. The tragedy is that when being so focused on finding “the one,” singles miss out on life and possibly more opportunities to meet others who could potentially be a future mate. There are several things which one can do in order to (what we counselors call) “live in the now.”

Savor.

Yes, savor the relationships, opportunities, and responsibilities that you have as a single person. Make a list of the many things that you are able to appreciate and then thank God for them. Though you might start out with something simple like “two legs, and ten toes,” that’s fine as long as you are able to see that you have things to savor, appreciate, and celebrate. Life is not to be lived as a checklist. As long as it is, we will be forfeiting the enjoyment of life, if the only pleasure is found in crossing each box off. Savoring is as simple as enjoying a big, hot cup of coffee on your back porch, writing an email to a best friend, or going out to eat with friends/family after a great week at work.

Simplify.

When you have so much on your plate, it is very difficult to be present with those people or things that are most valuable in your life. Though your intentions might be good, many people are like a steam engine constantly running on empty, going from town to town getting more people to carry but rarely ever filling up. This is often true of those in the church who are serving under the name of Christ but dying in the process. They say “yes” to everything and everyone and ”Can you work in the nursery just this Sunday?” turns into a 10-year commitment that results in resentment and frustration on the servant’s side.

How easy it is to give away our time, energy, and talents to good things that rob us of God’s best things. Look at your schedule and ask yourself if you are too run down with commitments that are not essential (i.e. work) and can be eliminated. If your life is overwhelming and your busy schedule is robbing you from living in the moment, then it might be time to say goodbye to certain activities.

Surrender.

For some of you, you might still be struggling over the title of this article. You might find the task of being present as attainable as flying to Venus. It is a distant thought that would be nice if it were possible, but since it isn’t then you’d rather just go onto the next thing on the list. But I implore you to simply stop and consider surrendering where you are at with God.

Surrender in your struggle to win this rat race of life. Surrender to the Lord your feelings of doubt as to whether or not this will work. Surrender your fear that if you do give up your conquest for “the one” that He will not meet your deepest needs; remember, He loves you and wants to provide you with someone who is above and beyond anyone you could have imagined.

Surrender your inability to surrender and then watch Him work with your heart. You will notice a slight willingness to give up control, and it will hopefully be the first of many steps whereby you offer the Lord your anxieties and He replaces them with strong faith and courage to follow where He leads.