Many people can have a misconception about the realities of marriage. The difficulties of the dating scene can sometimes make marriage seem like the end-all solution for your version of a “happily ever after.”
However, many times it’s the opposite that is true, in that the dating portion is the easy part and married life is when the true work begins. There are so many different aspects to married life that simply aren’t present when the two of you are just dating. This can include the difficulties in sharing a common living space, financial obligations, extended time together and the blending of your families.
With so many new aspects of a relationship arising during a marriage, it is easy to see how there can be conflict. However, instead of focusing on the conflicts themselves, it is much more important to focus on how the two of you can overcome these difficulties as a couple. While marriage is about give-and-take, it’s also about getting through both the good and bad times in unity.
A huge part in overcoming your struggles as a couple involves how you are able to get through each argument as they come. It’s foolish to think that a married couple (regardless of how happy they are or how well suited they are for one another) won’t have the occasional disagreement. It’s important to fully resolve your arguments as they come, so that it won’t carry on to the next difficult situation.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you —Ephesians 4:31-32, KJV
Everyone has their own way of communicating when they are angry and for many, this is something that they realize needs work on their part. A huge part of marriage involves the way you communicate with your partner.
During an argument, people can raise their voices, say hurtful things or even shut down the lines of communication. For those who tend to lash out during an argument, it can be difficult for their partner to let go of the comments that were made.
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth —Colossians 3:8, KJV
As a couple, it’s important to address these issues so that you both are aware of the problem and can help one another during those stressful times. However, it’s also important for spouses to let go of any bitterness they may feel during those times of anger.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses —Mathew 6:14-15, KJV
While it can be difficult to forgive someone once you have been hurt, it’s crucial to remember the vow you made to each other and to God. In a day and age where divorce seems to be more common than long lasting marriages, society is quick to accept those who were willing to throw in the towel. Instead of focusing on the conflicts in your marriage, try to focus on the reasons you decided to get married in the first place.
Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins —Proverbs 10:12, KJV
When you focus on the arguments, the things that were said in the past or the difficult times you two might be going through, it can be difficult to see towards the future. This is why it’s important to let the arguments go.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worth for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory —2 Corinthians 4:17, KJV