In the New Year, I’ve made up my mind to open myself up to new opportunities, new environments, and new genuine relationships. I refused to let old things that are not producing hold me back. The past does not want me so what’s the use of holding it hostage? I don’t want anything or anyone that does not want me. This past year I have had multiple losses; but with every loss I found myself with a new found strength to let go. Letting go is one crucial component that we must embrace in order to progress and move forward.
When we are used to someone being in our lives it’s hard to let them go even when we know they may be suffering for the sake of remaining. Back in February, my father was nearing his last days of being with us. I wanted to find a way for my dad to stay. Even to the point of asking the doctor what could be done to prolong his life. But one day I had a very difficult conversation with my brother. He let me know it was time for us to let dad go. He helped me understand that it was not fair for us to continue to hold on, for the sake of us being able to say that dad was yet here. What really helped me come to grips with letting go during our conversation is when my brother said: “Keitha, dad is not living, he is merely existing and that’s no way to live.” Instantly, I felt peace. Thoughts rushed to surface of my mind and I began to think of who these words were coming from. Those simple words of truth were coming from the sibling who was closest to our father. His strength made me desire to have more strength in this dark time of our lives. I began to prepare myself mentality and this scripture came alive in me: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9a. I then realized even though my father taught us to be strong, my supreme Father was the strength I needed even when I felt weak.
In my mind I let him go as far as being on this earth with us. But in those last days before he left us, I studied my father. I chose to remember everything I could about how he looked from his feet to his fingers. Even from the twist in his mouth to the engraved scar on his upper cheek. That point of letting go put me in a place of peace knowing he was no longer suffering.
Death is not easy but it was a learning experience on how to properly let go and move forward. Even through the experience of pain, I choose to make this New Year everything God has promised me it can and will be. So let go and let’s go make this year the beginning of the best years ahead!