Pornography. It comes in many forms: film, photo, or other visual medium.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, pornography is images “that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement.”

Pornography is still a taboo subject in regular conversation, but it is an issue that can cause great consternation especially between otherwise happily-married couples. Pornography can be addictive and is more prevalent and accessible today, especially because of the Internet.

What does the Bible say about pornography? One of the oft-quoted passages of the New Testament is from Matthew:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. —Matthew 5:28-30

While it doesn’t outright say it, the passage assumes that anything other than a respectful relationship with your spouse – and only your spouse – is unacceptable. Pornography is included in this. If you’ve been struggling with pornography in your marriage, keep reading to hear about its effects on a relationship.

Dr. William Struthers, a psychologist and author of Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain, believes that subtle aspects of pornography have invaded advertising and other visuals in our daily life. He says the dangers of pornography are great and consequences can include increased introversion, narcissism, depression, dissociation, and decreased self-esteem, all of which have a direct impact on a loving relationship between a married man and woman.

In his book, Struthers writes, “Men believe they should make love like a porn star to a woman who should look like a porn star. Rather than being who he is with the woman he is with, he measures his performance against the performers he has seen.” 

Bishop Clyde E. Van Valin of the Free Methodist Church comments that pornography leads to idolatry, “destroys normal human relationships… [and] dictates that the satisfaction of one’s own desires is all that matters.” Christian values teach us to love one another, that there is only one God, that there shall be no other idols in our lives, to care for our neighbors. Pornography therefore, is in direct opposition to Christian teachings. and the potential for it to ruin otherwise healthy God-blessed marriages, is too high.

Lauren Dubinsky, founder of Good Women Project, wrote in a Huffington Post article about the dangers of pornography whether single or married, creating a wish list of things she wished she’d known:
 

• “I wish that 10 years ago someone had educated me on pornography. What it is, what it does and what it reaches in and destroys in the hearts, minds and bodies of men and women.
   
• I wish that someone would have told me that researchers have suggested it sabotages your sex life.
   
• I wish someone would have explained how dopamine, the chemical that is released every time you experience pleasure, drives you to return to what provided that feeling before.
   
• I wish someone would have told me that the kind of pornography you’re most turned on by is usually linked to a corresponding hurtful event in your life, further injuring your brokenness.
   
• I wish someone would have told me I would begin to objectify men, build up images in my mind and think of sex day in and day out, to the point where I couldn’t remain focused on anything else.
   
• I wish someone would have told me it would make me feel less valuable to men and bring up insecurities for years in the bedroom.”

Pornography is a danger you don’t want to face. If you have a problem with addiction, check out your local psychologist or ask your doctor for recommendations.