The older I get, the more I learn about life and myself. And I learn that there is still SO much to learn about life and myself!
I learn how others see me. I learn how I see me. I learn how I want to see me and I learn that the way I think and feel about things, affects my future choices.
You’d think those would be straightforward lessons.
I think I will always want others to like me. To understand my heart. To know where I’m coming from. Yet, I’m learning to make peace when they don’t. Not always – but more and more.
I’m learning that even if I think I came across okay to someone else; even if I think I look cute; even if I think I’m great company or that I’m charming … it’s okay that someone else doesn’t. It’s okay that I may not measure up to their standards.
It’s ok to be imperfect in their eyes.
For I am imperfect. I have lots of flaws. Fears. Failures. And I make tons of mistakes. Daily.
So in reality, they are simply realizing the truth about me. It just may not come in the form I think it should come in.
I think God sets certain people before us to be our friends and be involved in our lives. And others; others He doesn’t. Maybe He’s protecting us for one reason or another.
Maybe they are great peopleand they’d really love us, but God has someone else in mind for one of us that will impact one of our lives in a deeper way. Maybe, sometimes, He simply has lessons for us to learn.
So instead of curling up and allowing myself to wither away from someone else’s judgment of me, I am learning to be inspired in a new and different way. To learn more about myself through it. To be motivated in a new directions, at times. And to learn most importantly – that I am loveable, valuable, and embraceable not because someone else approves of me, but because God finds me so.
I am imperfect. And it’s okay.