The search for true love – it’s worth the wait!
If you’re like a lot of people, finding the person of your dreams is on the top of your list. But it doesn’t come without its fair share of complications, does it?
Guys, perhaps you’re concerned because you are tad shorter than the average joe. (Especially that Joe Smith at the gym. Who is 6’5 and has an arm bigger than your living room lazy boy.) Gals, are you freaking out if you’re a wee bit curvier than the sub zero woman on the magazine covers?
You’re not alone. Based on the mail we are getting, there’s no doubt that dating can be rough. Despite wanting to see ourselves through God’s eyes, our human flesh can get in the way. It’s hard not to worry about every little “flaw.”
But what if you had no arms and no legs?
How would your ChristianMingle profile look to you then? Is that making you reconsider your complaints?
Most of you would likely answer “yes” to that question, but not Nick Vujicic. Not only does he have no arms and legs, he’s also not complaining. Born without limbs, this sought after Christian Speaker has created a “ridiculously good life” which he shares with the world on his website, Life Without Limbs. But after dating disappointments and a failed relationship, he reached his mid-twenties worried that he would never find a woman to love him and share his life.
Then Nick met Kanae and everything changed. But even with undeniable chemistry, they would have to navigate twists and turns worthy of a romantic comedy before becoming “one” in marriage.
In his new book, Love Without Limits, Nick and Kanae tell how they improbably found each other, fell in love, and then fought to overcome skepticism from others about their relationship. Filled with practical insights that will benefit any couple, this inspiring book describes a godly courtship and the early years of the Vujicics’ marriage and parenting journey.
Above all, Love Without Limits is an inspiring reminder that when Christ is at the center of a relationship—even with serious challenges—true love will triumph.
Believe.com is proud to have the privilege to share an interview with Nick.
Nick, you were worried that you would never find a woman who could love you. How did those insecurities affect your relationship with Kanae? How did she help you overcome those doubts?
All my insecurities were gone out the window as I saw how Kanae looked at me, held me and how we both felt about each other. There is nothing better than a reciprocated love that’s unconditional. After a relationship that did not move onward, I desired to have a bride whose family would welcome me into their family and hearts. The biggest test for us during our courting period was when I went through a personal financial crisis. Seeing Kanae’s commitment to stand by my side no matter what was the most amazing discovery of how deep her love was for me. She looks at me, and I can tell she doesn’t see limbless Nick. Shshsh 🙂
How was God working to prepare you for each other before you even met?
We both had relationships that had struggles and heart aches. With every season of our lives, we look back and see that those painful times helped us discover more about ourselves and helped us focus more on what we should be looking for in a future spouse. The waiting of ‘the one’ was extremely difficult at times, but we both say that we wouldn’t have changed a thing as it has truly helped us become who we are today. We both know we have a long road ahead and marriage is something that daily tests you and blesses you at the same time. It’s a journey, life…..I just can’t imagine mine without her now.
What encouragement would you give to readers who have given up on finding love?
I honestly didn’t think miracles could ever come from my broken pieces, and I was disabled in fear that my dreams would always remain as dreams. Don’t give up on you. Don’t give up on God. Don’t give up on love. All I can say is that even if Kanae came in my 50’s, 60’s or 70’s, whatever time we’d have together would feel like a lifetime of joy and abundance of bliss. She truly is more than I could have ever have imagined. Give some slack, take another breath, one day at a time, keep true to yourself and just at the right time they will come.
How did you overcome the challenges of a long-distance relationship, especially with Nick’s busy international travel schedule? How did you make your relationship a priority?
Well, thank God for technology. We were on video calls a lot. Nick kept his phone bills a secret from me, especially when he was overseas. We talked nearly every single day. Even after his long day speaking, jet-lagged and with the stresses of traveling, he did his best truly to help me feel like the most important thing in his life. He and I would pray always together and text like crazy. I think he got a cramp for two days in his big toe from the texts. He would do his best to try stop in Dallas to see me instead of going home. It was hard sometimes but we were thankful for every moment we had even when we were on opposite sides of the globe.
Tell us about how you’ve learned to serve each other, and how Kanae exemplified this attitude in how she wrapped presents for Nick.
I felt like a burden to my parents during my childhood, and I never thought I would be able to be married to a person without feeling that way. I still wish I could do more things for her to also show how I love her. I do what I can. However, the greatest way to show my love is simply quality time together, honoring her family and trying to do my best to be better than yesterday as a husband and father. She totally blew my mind with her love, thoughtfulness and creativity when during our courtship, she wrapped up a gift for me for my birthday in a way I had never even thought of. She slit open the corners of a cardboard box and kept the box in form by placing a ribbon around it where I could open it up by pulling on the ribbon with my mouth. It had no top but it was full of colored tissue paper so I couldn’t see what was inside. It worked beautifully and perfectly. I did love the gift, but even before I tried opening up my very first present all by myself, I was honestly moved to tears with her amazing idea and touch of love like I had never felt before.
What was the biggest adjustment once you were married? Was there anything you dealt with that surprised you about being married?
There were several adjustments we handled once we were married. My caregivers never slept over anymore and there was the balance of me needing care sometimes but not always and then balancing the fact that I don’t want my wife to assume the role as a caregiver either. I think the biggest surprise was actually seeing what our counselors said was true–that it’s always more about giving than even sharing from a day-to-day basis and that goes for both sides. Also we learned that nothing the counselor could ever tell you can ever completely prepare you for marriage. Lastly, I am reminded daily of what I need to work on in my character as a man to be all that I want to be for her and our son Kiyoshi.
Your son Kiyoshi was born a day after your first wedding anniversary. How did having a baby change your marriage?
It changed everything in such a beautiful and chaotic way all at the same time. Our focus now is not just on each other, but him. I can say nothing ever can prepare you for parenthood. You just jump in with both feet and roll with the punches. It is quick to see what things I can’t handle that Kanae seems to handle quite well. A lot of the responsibility was and is on her as I cannot do most things for him, but as he is getting older we are interacting, playing and reading books together. Kanae and I never thought that we as human beings had the capacity to love someone so much as we love our baby boy. It is a deeper and new dimension altogether that we love. We hope to have more children in the future so that Kiyoshi has a sibling or two.
What was it like to write a book together? Did you learn anything new about yourselves during the process?
It was a totally awesome experience but at first we were a little nervous because we knew that there would be a ‘digging up’ of the past and some things we would rather leave behind. But we did it, with the help of our amazing ghost writer, in understanding that there would be someone who could read our story and truly benefit and be blessed by it. I think the biggest fear of all in one’s life is to be alone. We want all to know that God is with them, and He does have a plan. It sometimes takes longer and takes turns down unexpected paths that lead to a future we could not foresee.
What are some tips you give to help couples strengthen their marriages? What’s the most important thing you do to invest in your marriage?
Pray and at least read one verse of the Bible a day, or some short devotional, preferably in the morning. It helps set the tone of the day and as you reflect on what you read, it helps you to know that we truly need God’s help in holding up one another’s needs above our own needs. Learning to be patient requires a lot of waiting. We agree that setting priority time together: a date night, watching movies or something we both like is the best way to keep a healthy marriage. Time is the greatest asset, and we do not have tomorrow promised. We try our best, no matter how busy we get, to play with Kiyoshi and go experience life together on trips and daily letting each other know how much we love each other.
Catch a sneak peek!
Get a peek of this best seller’s new book here.
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Let us know what you think about this remarkable story. Feel free to stay in touch with Andrea @ Andrea.Paventi@Gmail.com, at Facebook here or at her website, www.happilytickedoff.com. She is off freelancing for other sites and would love to share her new writing adventures with you!