We all know that being a Christian in a postmodern world, where everyone seems to do what is right in their own eyes, is difficult (Judges 17:6, 21:25), but a new set of challenges arises for today’s single Christians. Searching for an “equally yoked” partner can often feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
How can you decide if a person is right for you? How do you know if they feel God and Jesus Christ are really an important part of their life or if they are just a causal Christian, attending church nonchalantly throughout the year? Is religion something they simply use as a guideline for their morals or do they earnestly use their Christian walk as a filter to everything they do?
If someone of the opposite sex attracts your attention and you have an interest in getting to know them as a potential partner, is it a good idea to go to church on your first date? Let’s briefly explore the idea.
Getting To Know One Another
The point of a first date is to get to know someone better. To understand who they are, what makes them tick, what is important to them, etc. If a person is a Christian, living a life with the Bible as your guide and authority says a lot about your priorities and who you are. With that, by going to church on a first date you can get to know if a Christian lifestyle is important to that person. It sparks the conversation on where church fits into the other person’s life simply by being the focus of the date.
Also, some say your first date shouldn’t be in a setting where it is face to face, or interview style. It may make many people less comfortable when they are constantly in front of someone new, especially if they have a romantic interest in that person. Church, however, is a place where you and your date sit side by side. This builds a connection without the pressure of a face-to-face situation.
From a social standpoint, going to church on a first date can also be appealing. Going to church gives plenty of one-on-one conversation opportunities as well as group interaction. Is your date an introvert or an extrovert? Are they quick to reach out with a friendly smile and say hello or do they awkwardly answer only direct questions and not give conversational feedback?
You learn a lot from how someone talks to others. You get a sense of their personality, their respect of others and even their level of narcissism simply by observing how they react in a group setting.
Finally, from a spiritual standpoint, attending church together as a first date can be a great filter. If you are serious about finding someone compatible with you and are serious about being a Christian, why not start as you mean to go on?
If the idea of attending church is not at all appealing to this potential soul mate, they probably aren’t right for you anyway. However, if church is important to you and the other person has no desire to go, but agrees to go anyway, there is hope. They are obviously interested enough in you, respect you and open enough to attend church with you.
Everyone wants to date someone who respects their interests and appreciates what is important to them. Even if the whole dating thing does not work out, it’s a way to perhaps introduce the other person to Jesus Christ (Mark 16:15, John 3:17).
By attending church services on a first date, you set the precedent of what is important to you. It also helps break down some barriers and lets you discover who they are. Why not set the tone of the relationship from the start? Of course, before you go on your date, pray about it and remember:
… in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. —Philippians 4:6