Although it’s not the ideal situation to have a divorce occur inside a family or to have children outside the confines of marriage, the simple fact of the matter is that we live in a time where these things happen more and more frequently. 
 
While divorce or time spent sharing custody of a child is always difficult on the parents, it’s important to remember that it is most difficult on the children. Marriage and unity in parenthood is meant to establish a sense of stability for a child and a sense of security. When that family splits, it can shatter a child’s sense of security and cause confusion that can lead to many differing problems well on into adulthood.
 
Understanding that the most important thing involving the split is the wellbeing of the child is often easier said than done. The split itself is oftentimes a deeply hurtful event, regardless of the reason behind it. Many parents can mistakenly forget to see beyond their own hurt feelings in order to put the wellbeing of their children first. 
 
It can be difficult to maintain a relationship with the other person when there are such deep-seeded hurt feelings. However, it is crucial to maintain a level of respect in order to co-parent effectively and continue to maintain a sense of stability and security for your child.
 
The hardest part of maintaining this fragile relationship for the sake of the kids can come when the parents start dating other people. While it can be hard enough to maintain a civil and respectful relationship with an ex-spouse, adding another woman (or man) to the equation can be extremely difficult. Hurt feelings are bound to arise, but it’s important to consider how your reactions will affect your children.
 
Many times, children take social queues from their parents. For instance, if your child sees that you react to changes in routine by panicking or getting anxious, she might react to changes in her own life in a similar manner. Teaching your children life lessons isn’t always about what you say to them, but is often about what you can do in terms of leading by example.
 
While there might be hurt feelings about your child’s father dating another woman, embracing this situation is the best way to co-parent together to make the best environment for your child. Showing anger or jealousy toward the other woman cannot only affect your child’s ability to enjoy the time that is spent with his father, but it can also affect the relationship you have with your child.
 
Keeping a united front in a co-parenting manner is more than just the relationship you have with your children’s father. Showing unity is a way to form a better foundation for your children to look upon and grow with. This can sometimes include the other woman in your kids’ father’s life. It’s important to show your child that it is okay for them to be around dad’s new partner and enjoy the time they spend them as a couple. But also let the kids know that their time spent with dad’s new girlfriend will in no way affect the relationship they have with you, their mother.
 
During rebellious times, adolescence or even fits of anger, your child might proclaim, “I like daddy’s girlfriend better than you.” This is something that comes from an immature mind and should never be taken as something to spark anger. Listening to what your children are really trying to say is about understanding the hurt and confusion that must be going on in their minds during a difficult time dealing with the split of the family they once knew.
 
A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels. —Proverbs 1:5