When you are considering taking a new relationship to the next level, you will understandably consider the pros and cons of being with your significant other. In addition to the usual traits – liking the same activities, working well together, sharing a common belief in Christ – you will want to consider if your significant other has been married before.
However, if the person you’re seeing has been married multiple times, you might want to view this as a red flag. Your significant other may not have the permanent view of marriage you desire. When an individual moves in and out of marriage, this is a symptom of a deeper emotional issue.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. —Matthew 19:3-9 (KJV)
The Word speaks plainly about God’s attitude toward divorce. However, divorce is not an unforgivable sin. God does understand the heart of a person.
What Multiple Marriages Can Reveal
You may be deeply in love with a person, but it is prudent to look at the reasons for his or her multiple marriages. In addition, there are emotional signals involved in multiple marriages.
Your significant other:
- May enjoy the feeling of being in love, but becomes bored and restless when the newness wears off.
- May not have the fortitude for a long-term commitment.
- May not view marriage as a lifetime union.
- May be selfish; if it does not feel good, the person does not want to do it.
What Marriage Involves
Marriage is like a team of horses pulling a wagon. If the horses are not going in the same direction, the wagon will stall and the journey will be filled with conflict. Marriage requires teamwork, individual and mutual respect, patience and self-sacrifice. It is a covenant between two people that reads, “We are going to build a life together.”
The “building” part can be tough. If you are considering making this pact with a person who has made it several times before only to abandon the covenant, you may want to ask yourself, “How can I be sure this person won’t stop building with me?”