Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you were created to live in community. I’m not talking about a social media community where you can live at a distance and hide your true self behind a pretty picture and sterile words. I’m talking about a real flesh and blood community where you can connect face to face with other women and tackle personal issues that come up together.
What Makes A Community?
My community is more like a girl posse. These ladies have my back in all situations. They come from different walks of life and mutually support each other in the day-to-day grind. Yet with each beautiful woman in my girl posse, there is one thing they all have in common: authenticity. I’ve met them at different stages in my life and rely on them as my first defense when troubles arise. They are also the first ones I contact when something wonderful happens. It isn’t so much about where each lady comes from, but rather it’s about their honesty and transparency.
My girl posse knows how to nurture each other. They hold the banner of Proverbs 17:17 high by loving each other in all seasons of life. We may not see each other every week, but when we do get together, we can share the good things that are happening in our lives as well as sharing the deeply painful things like infertility, a child’s struggle with substance abuse, a husband’s deployment or cancer.
We remain in contact almost daily via a group text. Some of the funniest jokes have come from this thread, but so have some of the most humbling requests for prayer. We call each other during the week just to check in and meet for coffee when schedules allow. My entire girl posse may not be able to meet together all the time, but we make it a priority to stay connected to each as often as we can. And you know what? The payoff is worth the effort.
Support Through Tough Times
Every woman needs a girl posse for that deep connection. A posse doesn’t magically appear overnight and you won’t reach a deep level of intimacy unless you are willing to put in the time and energy. But when you choose to make the investment, your posse will be there to support each other in all things. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, “Two are better than one…if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Even God understands that women need other women around them for support in all times.
This group of women can help you celebrate the victories in life, like kids’ graduations or milestone anniversaries. They can also stand by you during times of struggle and support you when there is a relationship breakup or an unexpected job loss. But the times when a girl posse shines brightest is during the times of devastation and deep pain; they gather around and hold on tight.
Gaining New Perspectives
You can also gain different points of view to your world from your closest girlfriends. Proverbs reminds us that there is wisdom with many counselors. It is to my benefit that I listen to the different perspectives of those around me because God uses these awesome ladies to speak truth to into my life. We also offer encouragement to one another and make sure we build each other up.
Mutual nurturing among your posse helps you avoid relational skimming and instead takes the relationships to a deeper place of understanding. This happens when you make time with your girlfriends a priority. Find out what makes each one tick in order to understand their individual characters. Allow them to serve you just as you serve them. Often, Christian women are so busy helping others that they don’t know how to accept help for themselves. Allow your girl posse to be a blessing to you from time to time.
The benefits of being part of this kind of community are immense. You will find yourself in long-term friendships with women whom you can trust. They are the ones you can count on regardless of the need. The longer you walk with these women, the deeper the trust you build with each other will be. With time and trust comes intimacy – the kind where words aren’t needed. This is why every woman needs a girl posse.
You may also be interested in How Being Vulnerable With Your Friends Can Set You Free