At the conclusion of nearly every radio interview I’ve done thus far on the topic of my newest book, When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter, I am asked this question: What about the Mom who feels like she’s done a lousy job?
We all feel like we’ve blown it at times — as moms, as wives, as daughters, as employees, as friends. In fact, I believe nearly all of us carry guilt on our shoulders in some area of life, feeling that we have failed to measure up to others’ standards … or our own.
I will be the first to tell you that I’ve failed more times than I’d like to count. In fact, my latest book lists more of my failures as a mom than my victories.
That’s because we can learn through our mistakes. We can be shaped by our mistakes. And we can become more humble and extend more grace toward others when we are able to recognize the areas in which we have needed God’s grace, wisdom and correction.
If you are feeling that you are not measuring up, wherever you are in life, let me assure you with this:
1. You are not where you are by chance. If you are the mom of a daughter — or son (or both) — don’t think for a moment that took God by surprise. During the course of your mothering, God at no point regretted making you a mom. Psalms 18:30 says “God’s ways are perfect” and therefore, He makes no mistakes.
2. You can still be used for God’s purposes. In Scripture, we find these wonderful words written by the Psalmist that describe our significance and our destiny, in the hands of an all-knowing, all-seeing God:
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalms 139:15-16)
That verse tells me that you and I were planned out, intricately designed and then placed where we are for purposes that we might not realize at the moment. So even if you’re struggling with where you are in life, that didn’t take God by surprise, either.
Offer to Him all that you have and don’t have. At times He can use you more in your humility and weakness than if you were a super star, thinking you were doing just fine without Him.
3. You can receive God’s wisdom. I have been particularly encouraged lately by James 1:5 which tells us:
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
That verse tells us that God gives generously (He’s not stingy in doling out the wisdom), He gives to all (even you, and even if you feel you don’t deserve it) and He gives without finding fault (meaning He won’t say “Uh no, gave it to you before and you didn’t use it”).
Feeling like you’re blowing it? Take it to the Generous One who knows all about it and is waiting for you to seek His wisdom and His ear.