Perfection is a worthy goal. It is right to strive for perfection, but it can be harmful to dwell on it. By striving for perfection, we acknowledge that we are imperfect in our human state and strive to better ourselves. When we dwell on perfection and allow the pursuit of perfection to consume us, we allow it take precedence in our life.
We are not perfect. We will never be perfect. Jesus is perfect. We can and should strive to be like Him; but we must remain grounded in the understanding that we will never achieve perfection until we are standing in the presence of Him in our heavenly home.
For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not. —Ecclesiastes 7:20, KJV
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; —Romans 3:23, KJV
God’s plan for marriage is a perfect one; the actual institution of marriage, however, is imperfect. When we place unrealistic expectations on our spouse or even ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Wanting our spouse to be perfect is not fair when we ourselves are imperfect. Likewise, beating ourselves up over our imperfections will not bring about anything good; it will just instill feelings of doubtfulness and low self-worth. We are children of God and we are loved despite our imperfections.
If we truly want to strive for perfection, all we need to do is follow the way of the Lord. If we place our hearts in the hands of our Savior, He will lead us where we are meant to go. Place your flaws at His feet and allow Him to lead you. Rejoice in the fact that your spouse loves you despite any flaws you may have and offer him or her that same unconditional love.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. —Psalms 18:30, KJV
We are called to love one another. We are called to love our friends as well as our enemies. If we can love wholeheartedly, then we are following the perfect plan that God has for each and every one of us.
No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. —1 John 4:12, KJV
Along with the knowledge that true perfection is impossible to achieve without the glory and grace of God, we need to fully understand the power of forgiveness, especially in marriage. Judging our spouses for their flaws will only bring about animosity, and judging ourselves will only create unnecessary pressure to be perfect. Rest in the knowledge that we are loved and all we need to do is love in return.
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. —Matthew 7:1-2, KJV
Seeking perfection is a heavy burden to carry. God knows our hearts and He knows that sometimes despite our best efforts, we fail to live up to the high standards we hold ourselves to. He loves us anyway. When we give ourselves in marriage, we do not marry our spouse on the condition that they will be perfect, but that they will love. Don’t let the pursuit of perfection tear apart your marriage. You are perfect just the way God created you. We marry our spouses because we love who they are, not who they could be.