You’ve picked up your wallet once again and decided to pay for an online dating membership. That’s all fine and dandy … until you’ve realized you’re spending more time online dating than with the Word of God. There are several differences between a healthy level of active searching and complete desperation, no matter how much you mask it. Here are several ways you can differentiate the two.
Let God Lead The Way
Healthy online dating could be something you do after work in the evenings. Or perhaps you hop online for a few minutes to search during your lunch break.
If you find yourself waking up in the morning and immediately checking your online dating profile, however, that’s a different story. You may want to talk to God and see if you’re treading the dangerous waters of desperation.
Desperation is a strong word, but many of us cover it up by focusing on a strong desire. I am a firm believer that God will not make anything work out if you’re not doing it His way, and that’s with patience, holiness, and a God-honoring aspect. If you’re searching with full control, believing God “is working,” think again. God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. We need to fully surrender our dating life, daily, into His hands or we will fall short of what He wants for us.
Make The Lord Your Priority
What does that healthy searching look like? It looks like waking up to talk to Jesus instead of your screen. It looks like a heart surrendered, ready and hungry for His Words in the morning rather than the words a man or woman could ever say to you through a website. It looks like trust. It looks like being fully joyous even though you may not have exactly what they’re hoping for, because your joy grows from the Father who is more than capable of providing your every need.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” —Philippians 4:19
Don’t Date In Desperation
Desperation involves checking the website whenever you possibly can – late at night when you should be asleep, during your meetings at work, during time with family or friends, even during your bathroom breaks.
There’s nothing wrong with checking your online dating profile a few times a day. But when you’re logging on more frequently than you’ve prayed or thanked God for something, desperation starts to build up in your heart. That desperation starts breaking down the trust you have with God, and you’ll soon find yourself taking it all into your own hands.
Don’t be that person. Trust God. Search on His terms and in a God-honoring way. Talk to God throughout the entire process and He will guide you through it.
I was that desperate person. I’m so glad I recognized it and am now off the online dating .