One way to be an influencer is to be a leader, the kind that knows where God is calling. When you know where you are going and encourage others to follow—they do! We tell singles in our books, speaking engagements, and especially our own single friends and family:

 “Your partner is on the path to your passion. Pursue your passion and then, as the other person pursues his/her passion, God will cross your paths!”

And if you have “the gift” of singleness, you will have an exciting life with awesome friends! In Becoming a Brave New Woman, I spell out how to begin creating a compass for life, “You are the sum total of the people you meet, the places you go, and the books that you read.” So single, or married, we can seek to become an interesting person, and the MOST interesting people are those who seek God and radically say “Yes!” whenever He calls!

To turn the key of influencing others, you must first KNOW where you are going—know YOUR path!

In 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make, we offer detailed advice and activities to help you pinpoint exactly why God placed you here at this time, and at this place for “such a time as this”. Here are a few that have helped us know God’s plan and path for us, and they will help you gain that “compass for life” too!

Personal Mission Statement

My (Bill’s) personal mission statement is “To help as many people as possible grow in their most vital relationships: with God, with a spouse (or in dating), with family, with friends, with their community and church.

My (Pam’s) personal mission statement is: “To encourage others to reach their God-given potential by using the communication gifts God has given me.”

So when Bill wanted training on helping others grow in their relationship with God and I wanted training on helping others reach God’s intended goals by learning to have a vibrant relationship with God, we both looked for the best place to get that training. It was God who sent us to the same CRU training conference! God crossed our paths.

Caleb, an engineering student, wanted to use his physical strength gained from four years of competitive collegiate sports and his mechanical mind to serve God on a short term mission’s trip. On that trip were remarkable people with a variety of gifts but the same “mission” of helping the poor and downtrodden. One of the women on the trip was completing her masters in physical therapy. Even though their gift set was very different, their heart, or their mission drew them to the same opportunity where they began a dating relationship.

Jamie was in her 30’s working for an international Christian author and speaker, so she traveled extensively, so when it came time for her to get a new suitcase, she put her old one up for sale, and Jeff, the man who also travelled all over the world who needed a  suitcase quickly to take over seas, well, – he is now her husband! 

Questions to help you write your personal mission:

Here are a few quick questions to get you started thinking about what should be in your personal mission statement:

• What do you LOVE doing?

• What is unique about you

• Write 3 to 5 sentences of times you felt God use you. Now re-read them. Are there any common attributes? Same people group? Same experiences? Same giftedness? Look for God’s repeating patterns in your life. God often uses times we are being used by God in the past to direct our future.

• Do you have a favorite verse?

Using the answer to the above questions as clues, see if you can create a mission statement of 2-3 sentences that sums up why you think God has placed you on earth:


To make your mission a bit more memorable, sum it up into a catchy phase like you might print on a T- shirt; coffee mug or bumper sticker. Here are few to spark your creativity:

One ordinary woman connected to the extraordinary God Can make a difference

Choosin’ joy!

Strong, Smart, Savvy

Building Homes, Building Families, Building Lives 

Or a motto can be a piece of a verse:

Our family motto is “Those who honor God, God honors” 1 Sam. 2:30

One of our single missionary friends, who is always up to something exciting, his is:

“before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb.” (Rev 7:9)


Make it visual! What symbol or symbols, reflect where you are going?

One friend of ours adopted a sunflower as her symbol because a sunflower moves throughout the day so its face is always toward the sun. She wanted to be a woman who always had her face toward the Son of God.

A colleague had a photo framed of him a top of California’s highest mountain peak because his ministry is to help others reach their peak potential.

Sometimes as you meet someone, in his or her office, you might see art, photography, or plaques that give away their life goals, heart or inner inspiration. Even online profiles, or social media pages are a great place to post your “monikers” as these will open up conversations with like-minded and like-valued people.

Creating a moniker can be as simple as designing a crest or emblem with symbols that answer this question:

What are 4 things you want said about you at your funeral?

Place a symbol for each word/trait in each section of the crest below, then post this on your desk or bathroom mirror as inspiration.

Each day we choose to live the legacy we want to leave.

For more on living a focused life, pick up 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, 10 Best Decisions a Make Can Make or 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make written by Bill and Pam Farrel at

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