This is for those of us who have struggled with hopelessness while single. We feel as though married life is somehow not meant for us but for others, the ones who probably prayed right or fasted long enough or were good enough, even. So, we cast our lot to singleness and forget just how faithful our God is to fill that desire. If we pray mightily for God to replace the feeling of despair to hope, engage in godly community, trust again, and restore our faith, that hopelessness will soon begin to fade away.

1. Find Hope 

There isn’t a magic pill we can take that would take away our hopelessness. It’s there, heavy and repressed. This is why God tells us to pray fervently and to not cease; He didn’t say for us to stop once that desire is fulfilled, either. We need to pray for God to replace the feeling of despair with the feeling of hope. That’s something only He can bring – a restoring kind of hope, a lasting hope.

2. Engage In Godly Communnity

It’s also a good pursuit to engage in godly community amidst the feelings of despair. Gracious words are sweet to the soul [Proverbs 16:24]; expect this when you surround yourself with like-minded, godly people. Life groups or home groups are healing to the soul, bring life to the mind; just put yourself somewhere you know you can lean on someone. If it’s a painting session full of kind women, then go. Seek out fellowship; it will start to take your mind off of your own situation.

In doing so, you’re able to confide in someone, it could be a close friend or family member. This is not therapy; it’s just sharing where your heart is. It’s good for people to share their hearts and their thoughts because it leads to revelations you were probably unware of. Iron sharpens iron. It’s good to have someone to talk about life with, and it doesn’t just have to be about singleness and the feelings of hopelessness. It could simply be about the goodness of our Father.

3. Trust God

This is where trusting God comes in; do we truly trust God to fulfill our desires? This trust doesn’t come when we’re just starting to talk to someone or date someone. It starts in our singleness. God does actually want us to be fully satisfied in Him alone. Our desire needs to rest in Him. We need to be fully content in purely being a disciple of Christ versus a girlfriend or boyfriend or wife or husband.

4. Restore Your Faith

Lastly, we all know what Jesus spoke to Peter amidst the tumultuous waves and winds, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” I think we’ve all been in the lapses of faith, it’s our human error. Yet, there is a certain thrill of standing-on-the-edge-of-a-cliff kind of faith that enacts God to move mightily in our lives. If God can calm the storm with His breath, surely He can bring you the person whom you’re to share your life with. Begin to restore your faith in a God who yearns to give you your desires, but you have to have the faith that He simply can.

It takes courage to follow these steps as a single man or woman, but with God on your side, you can surely do it.

You may also be interested in 4 Ways To Find Peace When Waiting On God