“Take it slow.”
“Wait for her to call.”
“Don’t say ‘I love you’ first.”
“Keep him guessing.”
Do any of these words of dating advice sound familiar? Though friends may offer helpful tips for your love life, they’re not always right. Sometimes, your single friends simply don’t have the best advice and encouragement you need when you’re actually in a relationship.
The Problem With Jealousy
So why might you not want to listen to your friend’s advice? For one, we know jealousy can be very stealthy. It can come in many forms and might even be laced with kind and consoling words. Don’t be too blinded when a friend is subliminally saying hurtful and painful words, such as, “I actually thought it was moving too fast, but now I’m happy for you after seeing you two together.”
Any friend shouldn’t need proof of your relationship in order to be happy for you. Don’t take any belittling personally, because sometimes those you call friends, simply don’t have your best interests at heart; these aren’t true friends. When a significant other comes into the picture and they’re still not happy for you, sometimes you just need to let go and focus on those who are actually rejoicing with you.
Good Advice Vs. Bad Advice
If you wish to get good advice on your relationship, develop a team of trusted mentors and friends who you trust to have your best interests at heart. They’ll help you focus on deciding if this person is who God intended you to be with. At the same time, if you know that certain friends are struggling in their own relationships, recognize that they might not be the best ones to turn to for honest feedback.
Good, pure and gentle advice comes from friends with pure motives – motives that desire to only uplift and encourage your relationship, not belittle and step on it. Celebrate with those who celebrate with you; pray for those who can’t rejoice with you that they find satisfaction in God’s direction for their lives. While one should never put down another’s happiness, it’s a common way that unhappy people attempt to deal with the world around them. Recognize your fortune in finding someone to love, and wish the same for those who can’t celebrate with you.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” —Galatians 1:10
You should never have to feel like you’re defending your relationship to a friend or begging for their approval. Friends can speak life, wisdom and prayers in your life, but they should never be given control over your personal life. God’s approval is what really matters.
You may also be interested in How To Maintain Healthy Friendships When You’re In A Relationship