Ok did you all just do a double take? I know you don’t read many articles with those words in the title right? Remember when we were single? I was “Little Miss Abstinence” so I was always telling my married friends. When I get married” It’s gonna be a party in my house every night! Woo Woo! Yeah, girl!” And my married friends would just nod their heads silently and say “Yep… um… sure.” I never understood what the issue was and why they would laugh. Finally one of them pulled me aside and said, “Let me let you in on a little secret. When you get ‘married,’ there will come a time when The Biggest Loser and Downton Abbey are on at the same time and you… gotta make a choice!” Well, nine years into marriage… now I get it!
So what am I saying? Marriage lost all its sex appeal day one? No way! My wedding night was hot and steamy. I remember putting on my beautiful silk white negligee and waiting for my prince to emerge from the bathroom in whatever hot outfit he had brought. Instead, my husband rolled out in green and yellow plaid sweat pants and a rubber ducky t-shirt that said “Don’t Worry Be Happy!” And that’s exactly what we did! Well most of the time anyway. We have a single girl living with us and we joke that living with us and our two loud fire ball children is great abstinence enforcement.
So, Sara was asking about being married yesterday and asked, “Is it sexy?” What am I gonna tell her? The truth that a hot night at my house is watching Parenthood on NBC on the couch, talking about the Bravermans like they’re real people? Or that my husband’s snoring has caused many a talk of murder (not divorce) from the hours of 1 -5:00am? Yes it seems at times we’ve lost our mojo and we’re an “old married couple.” But we’re not out of the game completely. We’re not dead!
I realize that “sexy” is an evolution. You know how you can look at an older movie star and say, “He’s still sexy, that Robert Redford.” When my mom saw the movie, Indecent Proposal, I think her exact quote was, “I would have gone on his yacht for free!” Go Barb!
But for me, I found my husband Ron insanely funny the minute we met and I saw him perform. He was doing stand up and absolutely killed it. He had the crowd in the palm of his hand and yes, it was sexy. I also found it sexy when he brought doughnuts on the airplane about a year later and over a box of Krispy Kreme somewhere over Ohio I fell in love. I won’t bore you with “love stories” here because we’re all about the sexy right? But seriously, how do I explain marriage to someone who hasn’t been there?
It’s almost nine years later and I‘d like to recount some of my husband’s most sexy moments.
1. When he did the Dance from the movie Dirty Dancing at our wedding better than Patrick Swayze even though he threw his back out in rehearsal.
2. When I forgot my car keys at my friend’s house at 11:00 p.m. and Ron drove all the way back to her house to retrieve them for me even though he had been sleeping.
3. When he cleaned out the freezer without being asked and on my birthday always takes me on outings like the time he took me to this famous Museum called the Getty. He knows I’m not into fancy culture but he knew the food there was delicious so we ate and left! He speaks my love language!
4. When he wore matching Pink Footy Pajama’s for our Christmas card and to Ruby’s school pajama party without missing a beat.
5. When he fully choreographed a dance number to the theme song from Disney’s Frozen to sing and perform with my six year old for her upcoming school assembly.
6. For my anniversary he wrote me individual notes for each song he was about to Karaoke to me in his car. He serenaded me to “The Wind Beneath My Wings” with full abandon. I laughed I cried. It was better than Cats.
My husband Ron is sexy! He is confident and funny. Ron always said, “Funny Guys Get Chicks!”
So I hope in some way this has been helpful for those of you that are married or single reading this. If you’re married, why don’t you take the challenge and write down your spouse’s sexiest moments? You might surprise yourself and then be bold and share it. It could be the start of something really… hot! I’m just sayin’! Maybe he’ll figure out all those times he did the dishes just how attractive that made him to you. You know what they say… “Sex starts in the kitchen!”