In my last post I spoke I spoke of the wise men’s journey to find the baby Jesus. With just faith and a star (and few camels, duh) they headed toward their destiny.
As a busy mom and wife, my head often spins with the responsibility I have on my plate to fulfill my destiny. My full time job in Corporate America is a far cry from my days of sitting in my home office, typing up blogs for magazines. I don’t get to write or attend meetings when I feel like it. I’m at the mercy of other people’s schedules. It’s not about me anymore.
The same thing goes for my home life. I don’t just get to kick up my heels when I arrive home from work. No, as much as I’d love my children to be little robots who bring their mama a hot mug of coffee and a cookie for refreshment, there’s homework to do. Sometimes I have to pick up my home-bound mom and take her grocery shopping. Oftentimes I have one (or three) extra kids in my home who I watch as a favor for other hard working mamas.
Lest I come off as a martyr, I don’t feel resentful of this time in my life. I’m beyond lucky to have a job so my husband can start up his own computer business. I am grateful to the moon and back that my children are lucky enough to attend a free charter school – the equivalent of a private Montesorri education. My mother, despite not driving, is in perfect mental health. Her errands around town give me a fabulous opportunity to engage in wonderful conversations. She’s 82. I won’t have these experiences forever.
While I am not bitter at my breakneck schedule, I’d be lying if I weren’t saying I wasn’t tired. And not just “Oh, I could take a nap” tired. I’m talking bone crushing, “I could pass out at my desk God help me to not fall asleep at the wheel” exhausted.
You know what makes me even more tired, though? Forgetting that Jesus has my back. I don’t have to do this alone. When I remember that the Holy Spirit will guide me to set boundaries on what I’m capable of and what I’m not, I can take a break from people pleasing and rule following and just do what I need to do.
For me, this means not looking too far ahead. I’m sure those wise men weren’t always asking, “When are we going to get there!?” No, they had the star in the sky to follow. I have my star, too.
When I remember I have guidance in none other than God himself, I am still tired, but I can rest in him.
Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28
Of course, remembering I can rest in Jesus, and doing it, is two completely different things. I’d love to hear what you do to find rest.
Leave a comment: What’s happening in your life that’s got you tired? Here’s a song that might make you feel better. I am always inspired after hearing it. (Jesus Take the Wheel, Carrie Underwood.)
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