Have you ever noticed that when a new romance fills the air, the flowers smell a little sweeter and everything around you seems a bit more beautiful? But sometimes, when this new relationship begins to blossom, you may find that you are changing your priorities and even losing some of your individuality.
Although your primary focus may now be spending time with your new beau, have you thrown wisdom out the window and turned your, as they say, “blinders” on? Only you know the truth to several soul searching questions. Being honest with your answers will help you continue down the path that God has chosen.
Are You Both Taking Time to Become True Friends?
This is one of the most important steps a new relationship can take in order to develop into a possible life-long commitment. It seems like life is running at warp speed these days, but that doesn’t mean that your new romance needs to go from 0-60mph in the blink of an eye.
Rather than just superficial chats mixed in on a fun date, have longer more detailed discussions about things that really matter to you. For example, do you believe in helping the homeless, but your beau is close-minded and thinks they should toughen up and find a job? Those types of significant differences in thoughts and values are early red flags that this person isn’t the right one for you. Do you want to have children but he/she doesn’t? If so, you’ll need to ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice one of God’s greatest blessings.
Don’t Play Games
This should really go without saying, but it requires a quick stop of the train. Simply put, be honest, open, and up front about who you are, what you believe in, and what your expectations are. If the other person isn’t willing to accept you as you are, then it’s time to go your separate ways.
Maintain Your Individuality
When you’re dating someone you really like, do you find yourself staying closer to the phone, or maybe not able to commit to hanging out with your friends, just in case he/she calls to do something? If so, you may begin to hear a ringing in your head. Go ahead and pay attention because it’s wisdom that’s calling.
Your individuality is what makes you who you are. Keep making time for your friends and your interests. Don’t lose yourself just because you are caught up in the whirlwind of romance. Even though the saying is “follow your heart,” don’t put your critical thinking abilities on hold. Keep the line of communication open with your mind, body and spirit.
Have Similar Interests
Just because you take time for yourself and your friends, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t examine your new relationship to make sure that you do have common interests. In most cases we find new hobbies, activities, etc. that we develop and enjoy as a couple.
Develop a Strong Relationship
We’ve all heard the saying that “opposites attract,” but this may only be true to a certain point. There are several things that are needed to build a strong foundation for a relationship. Do you have similar backgrounds and family values? Are your future goals compatible? Have you discussed your religious beliefs? If there are differences in important areas like these, each of you will need to decide if you can compromise in a fashion that makes both of you happy. Sometimes the answer is yes, but sometimes it’s no.
These are just a few of the basic questions that you should take the time to examine when a new romance is blossoming. Many hear the following Scripture read frequently at wedding ceremonies and it reminds us of the true meaning of unconditional love.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth. —1 Corinthians 13:4–8a, KJV