Are you dating someone your parents don’t approve of, or are on the fence about? As an adult, you have control over who you date, of course … but it would be nice to have their blessing, wouldn’t it? So, how do you navigate the murky waters of dating someone when your family isn’t as excited about them as you are?

1. Pray

Never neglect prayer. Pray that you are indeed in the relationship God has for you and that you’re not settling because of current circumstances. Odds are, your parents don’t entirely like the person for a specific reason. Now, if that reason is a shallow reason, then by all means, confront your parents out of respect and let them know your heart on the matter; but if they dislike the person for an internal matter, something characteristic, then keep an eye out. Your parents truly do have your best interests at heart and only desire the best for you.

2. Reflect

If the person you’re dating isn’t offering you anything but emotional support, then understand your parent’s concern about your future. For instance, if you are an established person with a job and your own place, and the person you’re dating is living at home without a job, then understand your parent’s concern. You may not care about the fact that they don’t have anything to offer but emotional support, but in five years, you may have wished you did. This is how your parents are thinking, because they desire a good life for you and someone that will support you not only emotionally, but in any way life has to offer in the future.

This is not to say that you’re settling, by any means. If you’re happy dating someone who gives you the world emotionally, then good for you. But just know that life still goes on, and your desires for marriage are still very real. So, it’s okay to heed a warning to not wait forever on someone who isn’t really doing much with their life, or worse, not doing everything they can to support you.

3. Listen

If we’re talking about a woman dating a man, ask yourself these questions: is the guy I’m dating only talking the talk, but not walking the walk? Is he truly doing all he can to start a life with me of stability and responsibility, or is he just saying all the right things? Am I indeed settling?

These are questions to get yourself thinking about why your parents don’t approve of the guy you’re dating. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions to the guy you’re dating. Don’t be afraid to dig deep, and to press him for answers regarding what he’s doing with his life, and if he’s really serious about you. Too many people are being deceived by good words with very little action behind them. This won’t build a future, and after months or years, will only break your heart.

There are a lot of people willing to date to feel good, but there aren’t as many willing to build a future with hard work, determination, responsibility and noble pursuing. Don’t harbor harshness with your parents, and don’t neglect the fact that this is your life and your future marriage, and it’s not something God ever intended for you to settle in by circumstance. Ask the hard questions, get answers and take your parents’ concerns seriously. It might not be a relationship deal-breaker, but Mom and Dad could see something that you don’t.

You may also be interested in Why You Need A Dating Team To Coach Your Love Life