And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. —Matthew 19:4-6, KJV
It’s true, God created marriage as a union of souls. “One flesh,” is exactly how it reads. This is not a simple task by any means. The more people and things you allow in the middle of your marriage, the farther apart you become.
Certainly there are spouses who live very separate lives and are happy that way, but is that God’s way?
Scripture makes it very clear that when a man and woman become husband and wife, they are supposed to join in a very personal and spiritual way. With other friends, activities and jobs in the way, how is it possible to be your spouse’s best friend? Here are a few simple tips:
Take Time to Talk to One Another
It sounds simple, but it’s so important. If you have children, it’s important to realize that one day they will be out of the house living their own lives, and all that will be left will be you and your spouse. You don’t want to lose touch while the kids are growing up, because the closeness you shared before they were born will be much harder to get back when you’re left with an empty nest.
Pick a time of day when you and your spouse both have time and sit together. Drink a glass of wine or tea and communicate. Make the time of day consistent so that you know it’s coming and you will eventually look forward to it. Listen to your spouse when he or she talks to you and respond appropriately. Don’t tune one another out just to think about what you’re going to say next. Listen intently and be genuinely interested and engaged in the conversation at hand.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: —Hebrews 13:4, KJV
Get Involved in One another’s Activities
The best way to stay interested in one another is simple: do things together! Don’t make your spouse find other people to enjoy activities with—it could lead to critical challenges in your marriage. Enjoy each other and remind yourselves why you got married in the first place.
Also keep in mind that this doesn’t have to be limited to partaking in activities your spouse is interested in. An even better way to become closer is to find new things you both love doing together. Take a cooking class, get certified for scuba diving or join a fantasy football team for a little friendly competition.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. —Colossians 3:18-19, KJV
Learn What Scripture Has to Say about Marriage
When the Lord says that wives should submit to their husbands, He isn’t saying let your husband walk all over you. There are roles that the man and the woman should take as husband and wife.
The husband should be the final word in the family, but he is to love his wife like Jesus loves the church. That doesn’t mean that he will abuse, neglect or ignore his wife. Jesus gave His life for the church as the husband should give everything he has to his wife.
Have a Date Night Once a Week
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to accomplish this. If you have disposable income, go out and have fun. Go to dinner, take a boat ride, go dancing—do whatever it is you enjoy. If you don’t have a lot to spend, stay home and watch a movie; take turns cooking each other’s favorite meals, and pair them with your favorite bottle of wine for a romantic evening in. Date night doesn’t have to be lavish, but don’t neglect each other.
If your spouse is your best friend, your lives together will be so much more enjoyable and your relationship will grow. When the kids finally do grow up and move out, you and your spouse can enjoy the time together and already have so much in common to share. So love one another, and enjoy the gift of marriage that God has so generously given us.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; —Ephesians 5:25, KJV