I have found that there is a huge increase in women struggling with anxiety and fear. It grips these women, keeping her from fully functioning in life. Anxiety complicates her relationships and steals her peace. She typically does well when alone, but relationships really stir up her overwhelming fear of rejection and worthlessness which leads to a surge of anxiety. 

Does this sound familiar to what you struggle with in your life? If so, you are truly not alone. Some level of anxiety is found in most of us.

So what is anxiety? Anxiety is based in fear. Anxiety does not only arise from merely a bit of stress, but rather a deep fear, whether rational or not. Typically I see that anxiety stems from fear in one’s childhood. It may be a fear of abandonment, inadequacy, failure, or fear of being rejected. Often relationship issues increase these anxieties which end up creating even more wounds in the areas that we are already raw.

Anxiety Causes:

Physical reaction – Anxiety typically is accompanied by a physical reaction. You may feel a rushing through your body, become light headed, or feel your blood pressure rising. The physical reaction alone can increase anxiety and even cause a panic attack.

Skewed perceptions – anxiety can cause thinking to become irrational. You may become paranoid, thinking others are out to get you, or their intentions were meant to harm you. I have even seen anxiety inhibit one’s ability to process thoughts in a healthy way.

Inability to think clearly – I often sees women get flooded in their anxiety. Your mind races at a high speed and thoughts become like tangled necklaces. All logic is out the door.

Total disconnection – The ability to sustain a healthy connection to another person is impossible in the midst of flooding anxiety. If words are spoken while feeling anxious, the words are usually accusatory or argumentative.

The Solution:

Deep breathing – Anxiety often takes our ability away to breathe fully. Shallow breathing is most common seen in the flooding. I teach my clients to take deeps breaths to get them in a better, calmer place. The most effective way of breathing I have found is 4-7-8. You breath in for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and release your breathe for 8 counts.

Identifying thoughts – Negative thinking is what often causes anxiety to arise in women. If you can learn to slow it down and tune into the thoughts running through your mind. What are you saying to yourself?

Thought stopping – Once you identify your negative, destructive thoughts you can learn to stop them. I coach my clients to say to themselves “STOP that thought is a lie. The truth is ________!” Once you sense the negative thoughts coming, you can learn to stop them before the anxiety is even triggered.

What are you feeling? Below those thoughts you are attempting to stop are often significant feelings that are giving rise to the anxiety. If you can take those thoughts and drill them down to the point you can identify the feeling attached to those thoughts, you can then determine what you need to do with those feelings. 

If you battle fear and anxiety, we can help! At The Center for Healing we work intensively with women one on one to help her manage and overcome her anxiety while learning to take better care of herself.

You can learn more information about our services at www.thecenterforhealing.org or email me at teri@thecenterforhealing.org.

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