Having met on ChristianMingle while living on opposite coasts, and now, having been married for three years, Tre and Miki Reaume know, first-hand, the ins and outs of turning an online connection into a godly, long distance relationship.
With open hearts, Tre and Miki joined ChristianMingle in 2010 with the intention of just “seeing who was out there.” Miki originally limited her search parameters to only New York, while Tre expanded his search to the entire country. Little did Miki know that her future husband would not even be close to New York, but in living in San Diego, California!
Tre and Miki’s success in love does not stem from a long distance relationship secret, but rather from their shared, intentional focus on God. Tre and Miki are confident that what set them on the path to finding each other were their individual decisions to surrender their singleness to God before joining ChristianMingle.
The couple knew that they needed to find wholeness in loving God before they could be successful in a dating relationship. They felt no pressure to perform because they trusted that God was in control.
Now having found success, Tre and Miki reflect on the key choices and principles they practiced while building their relationship on ChristianMingle. Below, they share a few “need-to-know” tips for singles seeking God’s match for them on ChristianMingle:
1. It is Important Be Attracted & Attractive in Three Areas
- Emotional: Do you and your partner have a heart connection? Do you connect deeper on more than just a physical level? Do you feel comfortable going deeper than surface-level conversation? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
- Spiritual: Are you both prioritizing your relationships with God? Do you both desire to grow in your relationships in Christ together? Are you inspired by an aspect of the other person’s faith walk?
- Physical: This area is self-explanatory!
All areas are equally important. Miki explained that emailing and instant messaging on ChristianMingle, allowed her and Tre to connect on an emotional and spiritual level prior to meeting. However, the couple was intentional in ensuring that they did not go too deep, too quickly. Tre led the relationship early on by setting boundaries in their conversation that would honor and respect Miki.
2. Set Boundaries
Keep yourself in check and determine whether or not your conversations are pleasing to God by keeping Christ as the focal point in your life. Use the tools on ChristianMingle, such as instant messaging and emailing, to begin by first building a friendship rather than simply jumping into topics of romance.
By keeping the focusing on simply getting to know one another, conversations will flow and a romantic connection will happen naturally, or it will not. Begin by sharing what you like to do in your free time, what excited you about life or why you joined ChristianMingle.
3. “Man Up!”
Men, when you became a Christian, you were adopted into God’ family. Women are daughters of the King and should be treated with the utmost respect.
As 1 Timothy 5:2 states, “Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”
Tre stresses that men need to practice God’s intention for dating, which is literal preparation for marriage. It is the man’s responsibility to set parameters and treat women in a way that will support them as they grow in their relationships with Lord.
When you begin dating a woman, she will either become your wife or someone else’s wife. Be mindful and respectful of this boundary and “man up” to the task of being a leader in the relationship.
4. Know Your Path
Ask yourself, “What are the core values and beliefs that I will absolutely no compromise on?” and then write a “No Compromise” list.
Consider your own path and compare your desires to what God desires for you. If you know your path, you will easily see if a potential mate’s path aligns or diverges with yours. Constantly evaluate if you are God’s best for someone and if they are God’s best for you.
Tre and Miki are proof that no boundaries exist when you are within God’s plan for your life. Your “just seeing who’s out there” has the potential to blossom into a beautiful love story.
Keep the four above mentioned principles in mind, seek the Lord’s guidance through prayer and take a chance! You never know when you will discover God’s match for you on ChristianMingle.