Josie is an attractive 38-year-old marketing professional who has no trouble meeting men and going out on dates with them. Most of them are charming, handsome, and professional.
Joe finds himself in a similar position. He’s 40, attractive, smart and has a successful career in finance. Like Josie, he has no problem finding dates.
They’re both really frustrated.
They’re consistently dating people who don’t share their vision. Their dates look great on paper but never seem to want to be in committed relationships leading to marriage.
Can you relate?
Are you marriage minded, ready for love, and actively dating but find yourself frustrated and confused about why you’re not meeting the right people?
It seems so simple.
You just want to meet someone special with whom you can share a life of love and partnership, but no matter what you try—dating sites, makeovers, blind dates—the results are the same.
What can you do?
Start by recognizing that finding the one requires more than just showing up and putting yourself out there on the dating scene.
You need a special kind of knowledge that transcends most of the conventional dating advice.
3 EYE-OPENING TIPS TO CHANGE YOUR DATING REALITY RIGHT NOW
1. Make Sure You’re Really Ready for Marriage
You may be thinking, “Of course I’m ready. I’m dating. I’m out there. I’ve tried almost everything.” In that sense, you are ready, but…
There are other ways in which you aren’t ready. These ways are related to your past, and they’re still sabotaging your sincere efforts to achieve your goal of getting married.
Let’s consider Josie. Even though she’s super successful and put together on the outside, deep down she questions her own lovability and worthiness, which is causing her to attract men who make her feel unlovable and don’t share her vision.
You attract what you send out.
Don’t beat yourself up.
You can change your reality and finally start attracting the right kind of people by uncovering the things that are getting in your way.
Click here to get my totally free guide to the 7 Mistakes When Dating To Marry (and How To Avoid Them), which will provide you with step-by-step guidance in figuring out what’s getting in your way in terms of being ready for marriage.
2. Share Your Marriage Mindedness
Most people don’t share their dream of finding the one and getting married.
They have no problem sharing their professional, educational, and health goals, but they keep their desire to get married a secret because they’re afraid of scaring off their dates.
Secrecy works against you.
If you want to meet and marry, why would you want to waste even a moment with dates who don’t share your vision?
What’s the antidote?
Realize that your special person is out there and also wants to get married. Share what’s true for you.
Here’s a great way to bring up the subject.
You could say to your date something like, “For the last few years, I’ve been focusing on my career, and now I’m ready to move on to the next phase of my life—to find my perfect match and start a family. How about you? What’s your vision?”
He kept his marriage mindedness a secret. His attitude was that when the right one comes along, he’d act like the cool, go-with-the-flow kind of guy.
But when he became truly marriage minded, he started proudly sharing his goal to move to Chicago to start his own firm, describing his passion for skiing and rescuing dogs, and that he was ready to find his life partner.
His entire dating life shifted. He met and married the woman of his dreams.
So starting right now, I want you to proudly share your vision with your dates and your community.
3. Have Meaningulf Conversations
What kinds of questions can you ask to find out if they’re truly marriage minded? Is it ever too early to start having these kinds of discussions?
Lots of people engage in superficial conversations about what they like and what they do. They date to see if they have a good time with someone and if they share the same interests.
Shared interests are not predictors of successful, happy partnerships.
It’s far more important to find out who the person is and what they are about. Can they meet your most important emotional needs?
If you enjoy tennis and the person you’re dating likes gourmet cooking, then you can always take up tennis and she can cook with you so that you can enjoy great meals together.
It’s never too early to find out what is meaningful to someone.
Here are a few great questions to ask to learn more essential details about the person you’re dating: What makes you happy? Who was your most important mentor? What do you want to be remembered for?
I love connecting with my readers and hearing your feedback, so let me know what you’re going to do differently now that you’ve learned these three tips. Have questions? Ask them! I’m happy to answer here in the comments.