Do either of these conversations sound familiar?

“Where can I meet a quality woman?” Steve lamented to his friends. “It seems the women I have met in the past year are either too needy or too focused on themselves to have a healthy relationship. They are attractive at first, but it doesn’t take long before the ‘me’ in their conversations drown out my interest.”

“It seems all the good men are either taken or in hiding,” Tabitha bemoaned to her friends. “Are all men immature, awkward and selfish? I am starting to think it is impossible to find a man who loves Jesus and acts his age.”

If you’re wondering where you can meet someone with real dating potential, the Bible can be a surprising source of good ideas. Hebrews 10:24-25 is commonly quoted in discussions of church leadership as it has obvious applications to active church life. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” This verse, however, also contains clues of three places where you can meet godly people who are worthy of developing a dating relationship with.

1. Service Projects

One of the goals of our friendships is to encourage each other to be involved in good deeds. Notice the language that is used: “spur one another on.” This is a term that means to “incite, irritate or provoke” someone to do something worthwhile. This is the way you interact with people you are working with to accomplish something that is important. It follows that you will meet high-quality people of sincere, active faith when you serve on a project together that is focused on helping others.

2. Vibrant Church Activities

Believers regularly gather to worship and learn. Notice in the passage from Hebrews that the purpose of gathering is to “encourage one another.” It is not enough just to show up at church and expect to meet people who love Jesus. Encouragement happens among people who enthusiastically and deliberately express their faith and seek to make one another stronger in their faith. You find these kind of people at vibrant services, worship concerts and local outreaches. When you are actively engaged in a vibrant fellowship, it is more likely you will meet someone who has the same kind of love for Jesus that you have.

3. Conferences & Bible Studies

This passage adds a note of urgency to our relationships when it states that we ought to encourage one another “as you see the Day approaching.” A big part of our faith is the anticipation that Jesus is coming again to be reunited with his followers. When you engage in learning that is focused on this hope, it moves your heart, challenges your thinking and adds urgency to your choices. In this type of environment, it is easier to spot people who share the same faith.

Conventional wisdom teaches us to find attractive people at “playful” activities where fun is the purpose of getting together. It is difficult, however, to determine the quality of the people around you at these social activities. When fun is the only focus, it is nearly impossible to tell how disciplined, considerate, diligent and cooperative people are. Service projects, vibrant worship and focused conferences are much more likely to expose the character that makes for successful long-term relationships.

You may also be interested in Why You Need A Dating Team To Coach Your Love Life

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