Does your man feel like an old shirt? Then this is the article for you. Toss or keep? We’ll help you iron out the details. (Pun intended. Unless you think that is the worst pun in the history of this website, in which case, pun not intended.)

If you haven’t figured it out by now, the theme of this newsletter is modesty. But along with ideas of dress come ideas of thought.

Why do we wear what we wear?

What does it say about us as women?

How can it affect our walk with God?

I’ll let experts like Shari Braendel and Renee Fisher answer those questions more richly. I’ll stick to what I know, and that’s this: Sometimes the men in your life, and your closet, need an overhaul.

Before you think I’m telling you to dump your whole wardrobe or that fro-headed hipster with the craft beer tee shirt collection, consider if that outfit, and that man, truly fit you. Perhaps after reading this article, you’ll have a better idea if they are worth the overhaul. (Note: If you’re married, of course he’s worth it! But singles, you have more freedom in this area. Woo hoo!)

But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife. - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Here are 5 signs that your mate and your clothes need a makeover

1. They smell

Your Man: Does your mate need some work in the hygiene department? Does food consistently get stuck in his too-cool-for-school beard? If so, consider getting him a pre-Christmas gift razor. Make it a vintage one if that makes him feel more retro. (And with his clean looks, be sure to reward him with a kiss for encouragement. )

Your Outfit:  Are you still going to the gym in your high school mascot tee shirt? More to the point, did you graduate in 1977? Um, groovy girl – it’s no longer the Age of Aquarius. It’s the Age of Target. Get a new tee shirt. You might feel so good you stop cursing your closet each morning. How nice for you – and you closet! Way to start the day off right!

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job. -  Lemony Snicket, 

2. They rip a lot

Your Man: Do I need to elaborate on your man ripping a lot? While I’m the first to admit that there’s nothing funnier than a good fart joke, my husband doesn’t exactly gain “get lucky” brownie points when I’m putting on romantic music and the only trumpets I hear are coming from his side of the bed.

Your Outfit: Holes and rips might have been awesome for that Bon Jovi concert twenty years ago, but these days it’s a bit silly. It is also hard to model “modesty” when your butt cheeks are hanging out the seat of your jeans. Consider patching or tossing.

A whizzpopper!” cried the BFG, beaming at her. “Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans? – Roald Dahl (The BFG)

3.They are too tight

Your Man: Whether he is tight on cash or tight with his time, it’s time to remind him that his heart is most important. Besides, it’s only too easy to go shopping to fill the void of a dull relationship. And really, doesn’t that fall smack against your mate’s miserly tendencies?

Let each man give according as he has determined in his heart; not grudgingly, or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver. - 2 Corinthians 9:7

Your Outfit: There is no shame in gaining a little weight. Some of us have had babies. Others of us have had a good time with our cheese and wine habit. There is shame, however, in seeing your “fluff” spill over your middle. Consider getting a new pair of jeans while you work off that extra weight. Or simply accept your curvier figure. Not all of us are 20 anymore. It’s okay to grow in faith and grow a few sizes. But be careful: It’s easy to say “God loves me for who I am” when really, if Jesus were to show up at your doorstep, he might actually say, “Sweetie, I love you, now hit the gym.”

4.There’s Too Much of Them

Your Man: Is he overly obnoxious? Does he clap like a seal – at a funeral? Does his laughter sound more like a fog horn than a cute chuckle? Does he consider it a victory each Christmas to bring more gifts than Santa? If so, he might be a bit over the the top and need to tone it down a bit.

Your Outfit:  When the Gap has a sale, do you buy 1, or 22, of every shirt just because “you are worth it?” Um, from sister to sister, let me remind you that there are children starving in Africa. Consider the fact that your love for shopping might be a bit greedy. Perhaps you could save some of that money and give it to a favorite charity instead?

Sell that which you have, and give gifts to the needy. Make for yourselves purses which don’t grow old, a treasure in the heavens that doesn’t fail, where no thief approaches, neither moth destroys. - Luke 12:33

5. They don’ t feel comfortable anymore

Your Man: Maybe ten years ago his cute Vegas habit was an exciting weekend away for you, but now it just feels unstable. There’s nothing wrong with having a talk with him about what you need in a life partner. It’s always a gamble to get truthful on sticky issues, but once you get the truth out in the open, you’ll feel like you hit the jackpot.

Your Outfit: Our styles change. If we insist on staying stuck in our old patterns, we deny ourselves the joy of new patterns. (Literally)! A new blouse or a comfy pair of fresh yoga pants can make all the difference in how we go through our day. Consider your budget and buy yourself something new. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Consider how an upgrade might have more far reaching affects than just you alone.

If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to yourself or even less in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight. – Leonardo DaVinci

In closing, I’m learning more and more that I can’t change others, but I can sure change my clothes. When I look nice, I feel nice, and my spouse is more likely to take a harsh criticism healthy suggestion from me when I’m in a good mood.  A cute dress and heels? That helps. (But let’s get real. How often does that happen? Not for me, anyway, but it’s sure something to consider.)

Until next time,

Andrea

Leave a comment: I’d love to hear from you. Or write me! APaventi@Spark.net